Morning Rant: Don't tell me I NEED to straighten my hair!

My dad is guiltiest of this offense. When I went to the salon on Monday I ended up getting my hair straightened. Not my intent, but it happened. (Off topic, but not really: I completely wasted my money. The color didn't take because my hair is so dark, and the blowout lasted less than a day thanks to the crazy weather. I was pissed.) He veils his admonitions to go back to creamy crack with compliments:

"You look like a doll with your hair straight."
"Don't you like how it flows and moves when you walk?"
"Look how long it is!"
"When are you gonna get a perm again?" 

Fortunately within the months I've been natural, I've learned to ignore him most of the time and give quick comebacks the rest of the time: 

"They make dolls with afros."
"I like how my fro stays in it's place."
"Straightening it didn't make it longer."
"Never."

Of course I like the look of straight hair, otherwise I'd never bother to straighten it in the first place. But the idea that I need straight hair makes me want to punch someone in the throat. And that's the exact feeling I had when an ex-FB associate from college tweeted "I really don't understand wht is so wrong wit getting a perm. U realize we think u look much better wit straight hair. Dnt nobody wanna grab ur hair and can't get they hand out cuz it's caught n all that kinkiness."

So many questions, mainly "We who?" Cause my bf loves loves loves my coils and doesn't keep his hands out of my hair, unless it's straightened.  Also, why the hell do you think your opinion matters to anyone? Why are you worried about how attractive other women are besides your baby momma/fiancee? How are you talking this mess but still trying to holla at me and Big Sexy (my fro)?!

Yeah, I got a little heated. My point is, have your preferences, because I certainly have mine. But to tell me what I need to do to be more attractive to you when you and your approval aren't even on my radar in the first place? MFer have a seat.

The Blowout

Two Sundays ago I finally got the time (and the nerve) to straighten my hair. It was a little daunting to me, as my hair hadn't been straightened since late February/early March. But I figured why not? The weather was cooperating, and it's not like I'd been keeping my hair in a protective style anyway. It was as good a time as any. I took to blogs and books, trying to determine what the best route would be. I finally decided on the following method:

1. Wash and clarify.
I washed with my usual Optimum Oil Therapy moisturizing shampoo. (I think it's sulfate-free, but I'll have to double check that...) Then I followed up with a lemon juice & warm water clarifying treatment I saw in Thank God I'm Natural. Let that sit for about 10 minutes, then rinsed. Honestly, I didn't notice too much difference between when I clarify and when I don't. However, from my understanding, the difference wouldn't have shown at that point anyway.

2. Deep condition and detangle.
I applied my coconut and olive oil conditioners and let that sit for about 45 minutes. My plan was to go for about 20 minutes with the conditioner under the dryer, but I was too lazy to pull it out. (Sad, I know LOL) After letting it sit, I sectioned off my hair and got to detangling. Fortunately, it was relatively smooth going with minimal shedding. The exception, of course, is that odd patch of hair on the crown of my head that defies all typing, regimens and logic. That section took a lotta time and patience that I just don't have. Eventually, I got through it and rinsed. My hair was feeling all kinds of soft, smooth and slippery.

3. Blow dry and flat iron. (I.E., turn it over to Momma)
I wanted to tackle this beast on my own. I figured I might as well learn how to do it for myself... But what I learned is that straightening is something best left to the pros. Or at least to someone who can see what the heck they're doing. After blow drying about half of my head, I turned it over to my mom. When blow drying, I sprayed each section with both Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-In and Frizz Ease Heat Defeat. When flat ironing, my mom gave it another hit of the heat protectant. She also insisted on using a little bit of spray oil . I can't see where it hurt or helped.

I swear my mom was born to straighten hair. It did really well Monday and Tuesday... Wednesday the weather didn't wanna cooperate with me so it got a lil puffy. It was kinda down hill from there. By Sunday I had it slicked back with a phony pony attached.

the back after momma finished. why do the gray hairs always stick out?!

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

phony pony time!

I love the results, but it's not something that I'd want to do on the regular. I missed my curls too much!

A Hair Horror Story

OMG I don't know how I forgot to share this with y'all!

As I've mentioned before, I've always been a salon girl. Never really did my own hair because... well, I never had to. But I had an experience back in January to make me change that completely!

From the very start of my transition, my stylist constantly said that she "didn't know what to do" with my hair and that she wasn't gonna be able to deal with it for long. I always laughed it off, my line of thinking being "she started doing hair in the late 60s/70s; she's gotta know about doing natural hair." And I'd been doing fine with the little roller set that I'd been getting. On this particular visit, she said she wouldn't be able to do that style with it anymore. I thought it was odd (since even the newgrowth was manageable and able to be rolled when wet) but said okay and asked what could she do with it. She said she could press it. Cool, I thought. I'd have a little wrap action going.

So I sat in the chair for her to kinda comb through and detangle my hair before washing (it hurt, but I didn't think it was too bad) and asked her to trim it. I specified "trim about an inch off" because last time I said cut (my mistake) and ended up with my hair barely past my ears. Apparently I needed to be more specific. I heard the snip of the shears, looked up, and saw a good two inches of my hair in her hands. She proceeds to just cut randomly (later I realized that it's not even at all), even adding a bang that I did not want or ask for. (That bang is currently the bane of my existence. Yes, it's really that bad!) So although I'm pissed, I know I can't do anything about the cut. We shampoo, we condition. She fires this thing up: 

What happened next was nearly unbearable. She begins to tug & pull at my hair, dragging this burning comb through my hair. I was just annoyed with the pulling at first, but when she got to the very back of my hair I wanted to turn around and punch her! There were several spots where she burned my scalp. Thanks to my high pain threshold and the fact that I'm a G I didn't realize how bad it was until a few days later when I was oiling my scalp.

By the time I left the shop, I was in so much pain. My scalp felt like it was on fire, and my head was throbbing so much that I had to take some Excedrin & lie down as soon as I got home. That day I decided I would never go back to her. Since I still have not found a stylist (anyone happen to know a natural stylist in Jackson, MS?) I've been doing it myself. And doing a pretty good darn job of it...

But last Sunday I wanted something different. I was missing the old days of flowy hair. So I washed it, then had my mom blowdry and flat iron it. It came out flawless (and painless)! And here is the kicker: My mom's at-home straightening lasted longer than the professional one I suffered for! SMH True, it only lasted a week (including one touch up of the edges with a straightening comb) but the other was puffing back up the very next day.

Moral of the story: If whoever does your hair is against you going natural (or really, whatever decision you make in regards to your hair) LEAVE them and find someone else! Or do it yourself. Eventually their negative disposition towards what you're doing will either push you away from what you want to do, or manifest itself in hair horror stories like this one.