Relaxed Hair Must-Haves

I think I've said this here before, but can't remember for sure. When I had a perm, I didn't know how to do a thing with my hair, and didn't know what products to use. The most I did was wrap it, roll it, or put it in a ponytail. My mom was gracious enough to oil my scalp with Sulfur 8 after I got it done. That was it. I think I washed my hair all of ONCE back then, and that was because it was an emergency. I was in college and used whatever shampoo sample I had lying around from one of the campus events. Had no idea what I was doing! LOL

Well, for any permies who come across this blog, this link's for you! The Anti Hair Slave has a list of must-haves for you ladies that relax your hair. I was slightly surprised to see the same products/tools that are recommended for natural hair, but then again I guess I shouldn't be, huh? Anyway, don't say I never gave you anything! LOL

Pre BC Length Check

So we are a little less than a month away from my BC. I figured I kinda needed to know where I was as far as length, so the other night after I washed it I took some pix. I'm sooo far from where I wanted to be at this point. :( See for yourself. But I'm gonna up my biotin game & hope & pray for the best.

Perm free by May 15th!

Close-up of the new growth while wet

This is what the front is looking like

A bit longer than it looks, huh?

But still not all that long...

Had to do pix of the "lazy twistout" that I did

Just an Observation...

Today and this past Sunday, from the choir stand, I looked out across our congregation and did a little observing. We have a fairly large church family, and--no surprise-- it is comprised of mostly women. Out of over 100 women, I counted two with natural hair. (Although, does it count as "natural" if one is rocking a jheri curl? hmmm) If there are any naturals, their press game is proper because you never ever see anyone's hair looking natural. Of the little girls (I'll say maybe age 6 and up) the story is the same, although a few have their cute lil natural puffy ponytails. Now I have to admit that the majority of these women have beautiful, healthy hair due to proper care and maintenance so I'm definitely not knocking it.

But the observation did spark a question that I've often wondered before: Is there a distinction between the attitudes towards natural hair depending on what region you are in? I'm in the deep south and don't see many naturals. When I peruse natural hair sites and blogs, the south isn't repped that much. I can't recall any of my friends not having perms when I was growing up (I'm asking around and looking through pix to verify). In fact, a lot of my friends from church got their perms at a very young age just like me, done by either my dad, aunt or cousin! I met my first naturalista in undergrad; it was my ace who was from Chicago. From what I've seen, it seems as if natural hair is not considered "acceptable" down here. Fortunately I am seeing more black women here embracing their natural hair, mostly in the form of locs...

So tell me: Has anyone else noticed that certain regions are more accepting of natural hair? Is it more relegated to certain social circles? Have you always been exposed to natural hair, or did you grow up with relaxed hair being the norm?

Temptation

The creamy crack is calling me y'all!

It's only been 11 weeks since my last touch up. I thought I could at least make it to the four or five month mark before I started feeling like going back. There are two main things that are making me reconsider going natural. One is that the more I read the more I realize how much work and effort goes into the maintenance of natural hair. Call me ignorant, but I really did think that going natural would be easier. Then when I first started looking into it I was like "Okay, maybe a lil more to it than I thought, but I think I can handle it." Now I'm thinking "Maaaaaaan, I dunno!" With the perm I just wrap or roll my hair at night (or put it in a ponytail if I'm being lazy), take it down in the morning and go. 90% of the time it was flawless... The other 10% it stayed in a ponytail. My effort? On a scale of 1 to 10, I was maybe putting in 2.5. From what I'm reading and hearing from others, I'm definitely gonna have to change all of that. Time, energy, focus... I love my hair but I've never been one to spend forever doing it. So it's getting a little side-eye from me. The other thing is the growth. My hair was on a growing spree when I was getting a touch-up every 6-8 weeks. Now maybe it's all in my head, but I feel like my hair has just stopped. I'm sitting here like "Will I ever feel hair on my shoulders again?!" lol

On the other hand, I do have my reasons for sticking it out. One is that I want to prove my father and my ex wrong: my reasons for wanting to go natural had NOTHING to do with him. So if I go back to perming now that the relationship is over, it makes it look like they were right even though they were both dead wrong. I can't have that. Also, I love the versatility that comes with natural hair. If I just wanted to straighten my hair, I could still do that, but I could also rock a fro (which I've wanted since high school) or do an amazing twist-out like some of the pictures I've seen, or whatever! Options. I love that.

So for now I am holding out. Or trying to.

Stay In Your Lane

So I was at work today, doing my usual post-lunch internet perusal at the front desk, when I came across this post on Shine saying that Tyra lied on her "real hair" episode because the poster didn't feel that permed hair is "real hair." It was explained in the comments over and over that "real hair" is without weave, wigs, extensions, etc. However, from her little editor's note (below) she still doesn't get it:

Editors note: Some comments are insisting that I don't get it. While I'll admit I can never experience what it's like to be a black woman, I have had several of chemical treatments done on my hair, from changing the texture to the color. I grew up with thick ringlets of curls I wasn't happy with and sweat it out with a flat iron too. I dyed my hair every color from red to purple to black. If someone came up to me at that time and said, "Wow, is that your real hair?" I would say, "Actually, no, I had it straightened/dyed/permed." Perhaps some of us have a different definition of "real." To me I was excited to see Tyra with her hair looking as it naturally grows out of her head, and felt tricked that it turns out she had colored and straightened what she showed us and described as "real" and assumed we would know it was treated.

Really, I have nothing further to say other than what I said in the title: Stay in your lane! Why would a white woman who obviously has no idea about black hair decide to judge how a black woman decided to wear her hair? Bogus, all the way around. And I wanted to come through the screen on two of the commenters. One said she expected to see "something horrendous" (why does it have to be horrendous? it's just hair. oh wait, yeah, it's black hair; scary!) and another said if she wanted to be real, she should've come out in a headrag. What in the fukk? Foolishness abounds.

HELP WANTED!

I need a new stylist.

For several years (dating back to high school, maybe even middle school--can't remember) I have had a great stylist: my aunt. She has a salon and began doing my hair after my father quit doing it for me & my mom. She's a really good, old school stylist. She doesn't do many new styles ("new" being mid-'90s to now lol) which is cool with me since I've never been one to follow trends-- I've always been a wrap girl.

However, for all the great work she does, I'm not sure if I should stick with her while I transition into natural hair. Not that I don't think she can handle it; I'm quite sure that she can. The thing is, she doesn't want me to go natural and is not really helpful or supportive in my endeavor. Last year when I first told her I what I wanted to do, she straight up laughed in my face (the whole shop did, actually) and told me I wouldn't do it because my hair is too thick and I don't know how to take care of it. Then after a few months when I didn't know what to do with it, her advice was to get a touch up. Kinda counter-active to what I was trying to do, no? This time around, she just kinda grinned and said "okay."

My thing is this: I don't want to deal with any kind of discouragement from the person who is supposed to be helping me. After all, this is my hair we're talking about; whether I want to perm it, transition it to natural or shave it all off, I need someone to work with me. I need positive, helpful advice about what products to use, how to take care of it between salon visits, etc. I'm finding a lot of stuff online and it is helpful, but I need someone to see what type of hair I have and what works for me.

In my search for a new stylist, I've only found ONE salon here in Jackson that claims to specialize in natural hair. I know other black salons probably have someone who could help, but I want to be in an environment where I'd be comfortable, with other women who have gone through or are going through the process I'm undergoing.

Am I putting too much thought into this? Should I just stick with letting my aunt do my hair? For others who once wore relaxed hair and have gone natural, did you stick with your stylist, select a new one, or start doing everything yourself? I'd love to know!