The BC Story

Saturday, May 15 was my birthday and the day I'd planned on doing the big chop. I was a little hype (or trying to be), but mostly I was nervous. I still wasn't sure how I'd look with the super short hair and I wasn't excited and ready like I thought I should be. I read all these stories about people just being too frustrated to deal with two textures or feeling like it was just time. "You'll know" they say. Well I didn't know it that day so I didn't do it. "F it," I thought, "I'll stick with these twists & twist outs for a couple more months and decide what I'm gonna do once it's been a full year."

Well, I did not make it to July. I barely made it to June. On June 1 I woke up and my hair looked like absolute crap to me. Granted, it didn't look much different than it had the day before, but I was sick of it. The ends were just hanging there, all lifeless and boring. I decided that morning that I was not gonna deal with it another day. That kinda threw a little wrench in my plans, considering that I didn't want to cut my hair myself. Me + scissors + hair = bad business. (Or at least it seemed like it would. I've never before attempted to cut hair.) But I spent the day online looking at BC videos and searching forums to see how others had done it.

When I finally got home that night, I was a little buzzed but I was determined to go ahead as planned. (BTW, I would not recommend anyone try that!) After I washed my hair, I took the scissors & went to work! I'm mad cuz I ended up chopping off some of the new growth in the back :( Shoot, I couldn't see it! And there ended up being more permed ends left up front than I realized. I was in shock for a little while, and a few tears did drop. My hair had never been that short!

fresh off the chopping block. in shock & still a bit tipsy...

But anyway, I twisted it & then took it down the next morning....

AND I LOVED IT!!

I didn't have any idea that those kinda curls were hiding under there! I could not keep my hands out of my hair (and still have problems w/ that now). I didn't care for the pix I took from the front that day, as something about them seemed a little off... But here's a pic from a few days later and another from today!

I'll try to do a length check soon. I want to look into different heat protectants before I flat iron my hair to do it. But just from doing a little pulling, I think it's just a little above my shoulders. Not bad huh?

So now I'm trying to find another style I can do besides my little fro (woohoo that it's no longer a "faux-fro!"). Or at least some accessories!

Anyway, whaddaya think?

Hair Issues: Can I be pretty with natural hair?

This blog was prompted by looking at pictures of my long permed hair, then looking at my hair—especially the roots—in its current state. I gotta be honest y’all: I don’t feel pretty.

I’ve always known that I was not “pretty” in the conventional sense. I will never be thin and light-skinned, and I've always been okay with that. But I always had the long thick hair. That was my one "redeeming quality" as far as looks. (Well, that and my tits, but that's neither here nor there at the moment!) The first thing people complimented me on was my hair; I was always known as the “girl with the pretty hair.” When I was debating whether to cut it, I was even told, “guys aren’t gonna like you with short hair.” I know, I shoulda just shanked her. LOL But I went ahead and cut it, partially to prove her wrong. Maybe I was too optimistic, thought people weren’t really that shallow. But now I think that maybe I was wro- wroooo- My fingers refuse to type that. Maybe she was right. I’ve noticed the difference in how much I’m approached (actually, I haven’t been approached at all since cutting my hair…) And that kinda has me weirded out about whether I should actually go natural. Yeah yeah, I know the way I see myself shouldn’t be affected by how much I’m approached, but right now it kinda is. (I’m in a vulnerable state, don’t judge me. LOL)

So I’m looking at my hair right now and it’s horrible. The permed part refuses to do anything. Wrapping doesn’t work. Rolling doesn’t work. Flat ironing doesn’t last. The newgrowth is just puffy and dull, even though I’ve been moisturizing and conditioning it like crazy. And the little voice in my head is saying "Just perm it. At least you'll be able to sling your hair like you used to. Remember how it used to moooove? Remember how it used to shiiiiine? We can have that again!"

I’m frustrated. And scared. I know it’s “just hair” but as far as looks, that’s what I’ve been known for! If the one thing that was always perfect is turning on me…. Well, then what?

I'm Back!

It's been a little while since I've posted here, but I am slowly making my return! As I stated before, I will be posting some interviews with some stylists, as well as some friends in regards to their hair care regime (permed and natural), attitudes concerning black hair, their transition, etc. That will be coming very soon and I am excited about it!

In the meantime, here's what's been up with me:

I've found my style inspiration. I would love it if my hair turned out like this, but I have a feeling it won't... Fortunately I was told that I could get a sew-in to get this look! (In my ignorance of weaves and whatnot, I did not know they made weave that wasn't straight *shrug*)


I have been thinking about doing the big chop, but I dunno if I'm gonna go through with it. I don't think I'm quite that brave just yet... But if/when I do, I will more than likely get baby curl twists. I don't see myself rocking the TWA. Not that confident!

Speaking of my hair, guess I'll share some pix. It's been just a little over four months. I can see some growth!

If you look closely at the last pic, you can see the little curls starting to form! Here is my second attempt at flat ironing my hair. The first one resulted in stick-straight pieces of hair that had to be deep conditioned :-/


I saw this video and thought it was soooo cool! I wouldn't mind this if I did the BC, but I wouldn't want locs permanently so I dunno if this would actually be for me. But just watch!




I found a product that I absolutely LOVE! i dunno how to do a product review (LOL) but I'll try. The product is Optimum 3-in-1 creme oil moisturizer. It has coconut, olive, avocado and jojoba oil. I massage it into my scalp and on my newgrowth to provide moisture. It wasn't too heavy for my hair, which was a concern since it is a cream and appeared to be rather rich/heavy in my hand. I was surprised to find that it also made detangling my hair a lot easier! A win all the way around for me.

Okay, so that's all the catching up I have in me! I still want suggestions for new posts, questions to ask in my interviews, etc! You can leave them in the comments or email me at ToriDBlogs@gmail.com

Later folks!

Three Things

1. Soooo Good Hair is not out in theaters here yet. Apparently it was opening in select locations first or something? IDK. What I do know is that my fav theater has it slated to open October 9. So THEN I'll come back with my opinions and whatnot!

2. What are your sources? I am no hair expert. In fact, I've probably stated several times that I don't know much of anything when it comes to hair. However, I am learning, and I'm willing to share what I learn with you! I have added some blogs of note as well as hair and makeup links that you may find useful. I also plan on adding a "Tip of the Month" (or something similar) with tidbits that I get from the people that I'm learning from: several of my sorors, family members and e-friends. I'm also getting info from other boards that may not be hair related (I'm looking at you greek9.com and brownandbridal.com!) but that have a LOT of useful info. If you have some other links that may be useful, email me or leave a link in a comment. We'd all appreciate the knowledge!

3. I plan to start interviewing stylists and spotlighting black women with healthy hair that may shed some light on how they get the results they do. Permed, natural, transitioning, "texlaxed," we're gonna do it all! Like I said "It's all good hair" as long as it's healthy and you're happy with it. That being said, if you want to be featured, know someone that wouldn't mind sharing their tips and pix, or have some questions that you would like answered, let me know! (Also, let me know if y'all want to address makeup as well. I'm trying to improve on that, but y'all may already have that down!)

Your tips, links, submissions, etc. can be sent to voluptuousvixen007@yahoo.com.

Has My Hair Stopped Growing?!

Seriously, it looks like it's not budging an inch. I know, I know, I just got this cut about four weeks ago... but I'm ready for it to start growing! So far it looks like I've got the same little bit of new growth that I had when I first posted a pic of my hair. I'm tempted to start experimenting with some of those products that claim to make your hair grow, but I'm a little apprehensive since I am admittedly not a "hair person" (i.e., I dunno what I'm doing). Plus my aunt/hairdresser says that they don't work anyway.

What say you? Have you used any of these creams, shampoos, oils, etc. that claim to promote hair growth? Did they work? Help a sista out. I'm still not quite used to having short hair!!

Stay In Your Lane

So I was at work today, doing my usual post-lunch internet perusal at the front desk, when I came across this post on Shine saying that Tyra lied on her "real hair" episode because the poster didn't feel that permed hair is "real hair." It was explained in the comments over and over that "real hair" is without weave, wigs, extensions, etc. However, from her little editor's note (below) she still doesn't get it:

Editors note: Some comments are insisting that I don't get it. While I'll admit I can never experience what it's like to be a black woman, I have had several of chemical treatments done on my hair, from changing the texture to the color. I grew up with thick ringlets of curls I wasn't happy with and sweat it out with a flat iron too. I dyed my hair every color from red to purple to black. If someone came up to me at that time and said, "Wow, is that your real hair?" I would say, "Actually, no, I had it straightened/dyed/permed." Perhaps some of us have a different definition of "real." To me I was excited to see Tyra with her hair looking as it naturally grows out of her head, and felt tricked that it turns out she had colored and straightened what she showed us and described as "real" and assumed we would know it was treated.

Really, I have nothing further to say other than what I said in the title: Stay in your lane! Why would a white woman who obviously has no idea about black hair decide to judge how a black woman decided to wear her hair? Bogus, all the way around. And I wanted to come through the screen on two of the commenters. One said she expected to see "something horrendous" (why does it have to be horrendous? it's just hair. oh wait, yeah, it's black hair; scary!) and another said if she wanted to be real, she should've come out in a headrag. What in the fukk? Foolishness abounds.

Chris Rock's "Good Hair"

Comes out tomorrow. Who's going to see it? I plan on going either Saturday or Sunday. Can't wait to come back with comments and perhaps a new point of view!

Natural Hair Haters

So tonight I washed my own hair for, like, the second or third time ever. In life. I'm pretty darn proud of the job I did too. (If I didn't tell y'all before, let me tell you now: I am a complete novice when it comes to taking care of hair. I don't know how to braid, barely know how to wash it, and really don't do much with it besides either wrapping it or putting it in a ponytail. But I'm learning.) As I sat down to let my mom put my hair into cornrows (I'm gonna do the lil krinkly style as seen in my pic in the last post), my dad asks "What you tryin' to do to your hair? Why you decide you wanna be nappy-headed? You doin' this 'cause of your boyfriend's hair, ain't you?" Now, because of the nature of my relationship with my father (let's just say it's less than stellar) I was ready to go off. But I kept my composure and simply said, "This has nothing to do with him. I just want something different," and went back to reading. He then began to make comments on how he sees some women at work coming through looking "rough" and he wonders why they don't "do something with their hair, get a perm?" To this i bristled. "There are people with perms looking a hot mess too. And just because you're natural doesn't mean you have to be unkempt." He took this some kinda way; I didn't care cuz his feelings aren't important.

What is important though is noticing the response that I've been getting from people when I say I'm going natural. I get a lot of "girl why?"s, "don't do it"s, and "whaaaat?!"s. It's like so many people believe that it will be some terrible experience and that I'll look and feel awful. I don;t get it! Why should I be scared or ashamed of what God gave me in the first place? I've come to love and adore my dark skin and my full figure, so why not my natural hair? Why do people assume having natural hair means looking raggedy, or being militant, or lesbian? (All stereotypes and assumptions I've heard based on women having natural hair). What's with all the stigma around it? Why are WE such haters of our natural hair?

HELP WANTED!

I need a new stylist.

For several years (dating back to high school, maybe even middle school--can't remember) I have had a great stylist: my aunt. She has a salon and began doing my hair after my father quit doing it for me & my mom. She's a really good, old school stylist. She doesn't do many new styles ("new" being mid-'90s to now lol) which is cool with me since I've never been one to follow trends-- I've always been a wrap girl.

However, for all the great work she does, I'm not sure if I should stick with her while I transition into natural hair. Not that I don't think she can handle it; I'm quite sure that she can. The thing is, she doesn't want me to go natural and is not really helpful or supportive in my endeavor. Last year when I first told her I what I wanted to do, she straight up laughed in my face (the whole shop did, actually) and told me I wouldn't do it because my hair is too thick and I don't know how to take care of it. Then after a few months when I didn't know what to do with it, her advice was to get a touch up. Kinda counter-active to what I was trying to do, no? This time around, she just kinda grinned and said "okay."

My thing is this: I don't want to deal with any kind of discouragement from the person who is supposed to be helping me. After all, this is my hair we're talking about; whether I want to perm it, transition it to natural or shave it all off, I need someone to work with me. I need positive, helpful advice about what products to use, how to take care of it between salon visits, etc. I'm finding a lot of stuff online and it is helpful, but I need someone to see what type of hair I have and what works for me.

In my search for a new stylist, I've only found ONE salon here in Jackson that claims to specialize in natural hair. I know other black salons probably have someone who could help, but I want to be in an environment where I'd be comfortable, with other women who have gone through or are going through the process I'm undergoing.

Am I putting too much thought into this? Should I just stick with letting my aunt do my hair? For others who once wore relaxed hair and have gone natural, did you stick with your stylist, select a new one, or start doing everything yourself? I'd love to know!