Buying Into (and Out Of) the Beauty Myth

For the longest, I felt like there was a hierarchy of beauty. It was never explicitly stated, but the attitudes and actions of those around me lead me to this belief. It was always:

1. pretty light-skinned with long hair
2. pretty light-skinned
3. light-skinned with long hair
4. light-skinned
5. dark-skinned with long hair
6. dark-skinned

From childhood, I knew I was near the bottom of the totem pole. Then in high school/college big booties got thrown in the mix and I was even lower. According to the messages I received, my saving grace was my thick long hair. I may not have been pretty (because everyone knew dark-skinned girls couldn't be pretty!) but at least I had "good hair" that would cause someone to look my way... unless, of course, the light-skinned girls they looked at first were interested...

Somewhere along the way, I want to say in college, I shook the notion that the only desirable thing about me was my hair. Yes, I still had it long and kept it silky smooth with a perm but I begin to believe in the other aspects of my own beauty. Inner and outer. Amazingly, when I opened my eyes to the truth, I realized that others saw it too. I wasn't alone! Yes, dark-skinned girls could be cute. Yes, even the ones without a big ol booty. And yes, I was one of them! Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus!!

O_O Okay, maybe not the last one; I got caught up in the moment.

My point is this: we've all been fed nonsense about what constitutes beauty. Whether it was from family, the media, significant others... Some of us absorbed more of that thinking than others, but it doesn't mean that you have to continue to buy into that. Regardless of your skin tone, hair texture (or how you wear it), size, whatever... if you don't see the beauty in yourself, you can't expect the world to do it. Yes, we've been bombarded with the European "standard" of beauty, but it's a myth! There is no "standard" of beauty. Hello, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder!" Learn to love what you see in the mirror (even if you want to tweak some things), whether or not it fits other people's definition of beauty.