I "broke up" with my bestie because of my hair.

Admittedly, we had grown apart due to some other issues, but my hair is what sealed the deal for me.

Up until a few months ago, my best friend was a guy I'd gone to high school with. Our relationship was weird, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I loved him because he forced me to be honest with myself on a number of things. We butted heads all the time though, and I was always quitting him over something he'd said.

A couple of months ago I was out at some little event, not really being social. He called (or did I call him? I don't remember) and I told him what I was up to, so he decided to come by. This was the first time he'd seen me since I did the BC. I knew he would have something to say, because he fussed when I cut my hair into a bob. He likes long hair and was used to seeing me with almost bra strap length hair. But I was not expecting the severe reaction I got. As soon as he saw me, his face scrunched up. "What did you do to it?" he asked.

"Well, I told you I was going natural... I finally cut off the perm."

"Hmph. I don't like it. I don't really care for the natural look. It's not you." [I will spare you my inner commentary on how ridiculous that statement was.] "It's ugly."

I was crushed. At the gathering I'd received comments from other guys--strangers and distant acquaintances--saying they loved my fluffy lil fro. But here was the one guy whose opinion mattered the most to me--more than anyone, including my BF who was just a potential at the time--telling me I was ugly. He and my dad were the only people who had said that. I was beyond pissed. Then I got to thinking "Why the hell does his opinion of beauty matter?" He's always had a thing for white women and light-bright-almost-white black women. Of course he wouldn't think something so unmistakably black to be attractive! The long straight hair seemed to be my redeeming quality in his eyes. As we sat there barely chatting the rest of the evening, I got over it and him.

I'm not saying he had to like it. There have probably been plenty of people who haven't. But he had to call me ugly? He couldn't have said something a little more positive or supportive like, "I liked the long hair better but maybe this will grow on me," or "If you're happy with it that's all that matters," or something! But that opened my eyes and made me realize that there were several things that he had not been supportive of over recent years. This was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I have not spoken to him since.

And that, dears and sirs, is how my fro caused my bestie to become "ex-bestie."