The Good Hair Diaries

Final Post

2011-05-17T07:04:00.000-07:00

Well, this is it! It is finally time to say goodbye to Blogger and The Good Hair Diaries. But there is a bit of good news:

There will be brand new posts over on KinxnQuirx starting MONDAY, MAY 23!

Yup, a whole week earlier than anticipated!

Thank you for making TGHD what it was. I look forward to seeing you at KnQ soon!

TGHD is Moving!

2011-05-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

Yes, my dears & sirs. It's time to move on from here. Blogger has been great but it's time to move on to greener pastures.I want to expand my writing and my personal brand, and this is one step towards that. The Good Hair Diaries and The Eclectic will be combined at my new site, Kinx n Quirx. All of the old posts from both sites will be imported into the new one, and I will leave both blogs up with a redirect to the new site.

The site is still being built, but you are able to read, comment and connect via Google Friend Connect. No new posts until the official "grand opening" of the blog, which should be by May 30. (Yeah, I know that seems like a long time, but between a couple of real estate closings--thank ya Lawd!--and celebrating my birthday hard all month, doesn't seem like I have that long.)

As always, I love suggestions about topics, features, etc. so feel free to email me at ToriDBlogs@gmail.com and shoot me your ideas! Hopefully I will see all of you, plus some new faces, over at the new site!

Morning Rant: Don't tell me I NEED to straighten my hair!

2011-04-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

My dad is guiltiest of this offense. When I went to the salon on Monday I ended up getting my hair straightened. Not my intent, but it happened. (Off topic, but not really: I completely wasted my money. The color didn't take because my hair is so dark, and the blowout lasted less than a day thanks to the crazy weather. I was pissed.) He veils his admonitions to go back to creamy crack with compliments:

"You look like a doll with your hair straight."
"Don't you like how it flows and moves when you walk?"
"Look how long it is!"
"When are you gonna get a perm again?"

Fortunately within the months I've been natural, I've learned to ignore him most of the time and give quick comebacks the rest of the time:

"They make dolls with afros."
"I like how my fro stays in it's place."
"Straightening it didn't make it longer."
"Never."

Of course I like the look of straight hair, otherwise I'd never bother to straighten it in the first place. But the idea that I need straight hair makes me want to punch someone in the throat. And that's the exact feeling I had when an ~~ex-FB~~ associate from college tweeted "I really don't understand wht is so wrong wit getting a perm. U realize we think u look much better wit straight hair. Dnt nobody wanna grab ur hair and can't get they hand out cuz it's caught n all that kinkiness."

So many questions, mainly "We who?" Cause my bf loves loves loves my coils and doesn't keep his hands out of my hair, unless it's straightened. Also, why the hell do you think your opinion matters to anyone? Why are you worried about how attractive other women are besides your baby momma/fiancee? How are you talking this mess but still trying to holla at me and Big Sexy (my fro)?!

Yeah, I got a little heated. My point is, have your preferences, because I certainly have mine. But to tell me what I need to do to be more attractive to you when you and your approval aren't even on my radar in the first place? MFer have a seat.

Falling Off the Wagon

2011-04-18T14:26:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people with a horrible propensity to start things vigorously but gradually fall off until eventually I'm not doin' a thing. This is particularly true when it involves some type of regimen. The multi-step teeth whitening process dwindled to just daily brushing, mouthwash rinse and occasional flossing (DJM!) and the skin care routine involving about five different products to be used nightly has come to just a good scrub in the morning and before bed.

The hair is slowly going the same way, but maybe if I put myself on blast I'll be more accountable to myself and to y'all. (Maybe... hopefully.) The slack started in the winter months when I was no longer doing wash-and-gos. I went from co-washing every other day to washing weekly or bi-weekly with shampoo and using a leave-in conditioner. Sadly, I don't condition as I should nowadays and I think I'm paying the price for it. I'm finding more and more of those little fairy knots, and my ends are looking a little rough even though I trim them from time to time. Plus (I don't know whether or not this is a result of lack of care) my hair is just limp, lifeless and won't do anything I want it to do. Not typical of Big Sexy.

I'm going to start babying my hair all over again, but I really need something simpler. A regimen with 50-11 steps just isn't going to work for me. As I stated when I first started, I'm lazy! I guess this is where a protective style would really come in handy, huh? Well I should be getting some just in time for graduation (Big Sexy doesn't play well with the graduation cap) so hopefully that will help some. But then what?

I need help y'all! Do you have problems keeping up with your routine? If so, how do you cope? Have you found something simpler, or do you just say "whatever!" and do pretty much nothing until the spirit moves you? C'mon, help me out!

I did it! (Kinda)

2011-03-29T18:36:00.000-07:00

Several months ago I made a post about a flat twist updo that I wanted to try. The inspiration was a video by YTer SimplYounique. When I first discovered the video I attempted to copy the style; no luck. But I happened to watch it again on last Saturday night and realized that the problem wasn't just that I didn't know what I was doing when trying to flat twist. It was that I was trying to do too few twists, resulting in... well, there were no results because it wouldn't twist!

This time around I did smaller twists and the results somewhat resembled the style she did! Of course, with this being my first real attempt at flat twists, they were not nearly as neat as they should have been. But that didn't stop me from wearing them Sunday and Monday!

I was reeeeaaaally pleased with the front

front left stuck out a little

front right looked great IMO

side view. couldn't get a good pic of the back

too puffy and loose, especially the back (this was after sleeping on it one night and wearing it one day)

Next time I try this I think I'll make the following changes:
1. after twisting & pinning the top, I'll put them into a ponytail. Then when I twist the back I'll incorporate them into it to make a tiny bun (or if that doesn't work I could cover it with a rounded claw clip)
2. Using coconut or olive oil when I twist. Dunno why I didn't think about that. Frizzies are not the business!
3. Having cute bobby pins strategically placed throughout the hair
4. Using a comb to secure the back. I used almost all my bobby pins and was still uneasy about it staying in place.

11 One-Ingredient Face Masks

2011-03-23T13:53:00.000-07:00

11 one-ingredient DIY face masks on Shine

A lot of naturalistas are no stranger to getting in the kitchen and whipping up something for their tresses. Well guess what? In your fridge and pantry there are goodies for your skin as well! Now if you're lazy (like me) you may not be crazy about experimenting with different recipes, finding what mixes well with what, etc. But the good news is that there are little items that we can use as face masks, no recipe needed! Some of these were no surprise to me: I've used honey before (great at fighting monster zits, BTW) and heard about using avocado and raw egg white. But some of these really shocked me! I think I'm going to put some to the test and see what really works.

So what do you say readers? Which of the face masks should I try first? Which, if any, will you be trying?

Essential Oils

2011-03-09T14:04:00.000-08:00

I'm looking for information on essential oils. I know about some of them, like jojoba and rosemary, but I want to dig deeper to find what other oils are out there and what they do. So far, the best information that I've found has come from Esoteric Oils. It includes information about various oils and gives a couple hair care recipes. The info is not limited to hair care; there are links about alternative medicine and treating various ailments with oils.

Please note that I am not endorsing anything sold by Esoteric Oils, nor have I tried any of their products/recipes. This is just the most comprehensive list that I have found to date. If any of my readers know of other sites (or better yet: books!) that provide information on essential oils, please hit me up in the comments or via email. I'd appreciate it soooo much!

Natural Hair Apparel

2011-03-02T10:10:00.000-08:00

Even though it's only March, it's starting to warm up here in Mississippi . That means more casual outings, which means a need for more casual clothes. As I do more reading and searching the web for natural hair information, I often come across sites with cute tees, totes, etc. celebrating natural beauty. I wanted to share some of them with y'all ~~just in case you wanted to buy me a birthday gift~~.

I love this Retro Chic T-shirt over at RegionUSA.com. Only thing I wonder about is how long the image would last. I've had bad luck with tees that had that kinda foil-like detailing on it. One or two washes and it was over! But of course this could be a lot better quality than what I had. I hope so, cuz I really want this shirt!

CafePress has tons of cute natural hair tees. I love this Kinky tee and how the word was used as an anagram. The word nerd in me is pleased!

This super cute "No exception" shirt is also from Cafe Press. I feel like I should wear this to church for all those older folks who say I look soooo much better with straight hair!

Through Twitter, I discovered YoungBlackNappy. They have a variety of tees, and I'm gonna get my hands on the "Naturally Sweet" and "Pick Pocket" shirts. I love "A mother's love" too. That may be next on the list.

Back to CafePress. I found this I *heart* locs gym bag. It's a simple little design but I fell in love with it! I am a sucker for a fine man with locs. I can't get it tho. The BF just had to cut his locs recently and he's still a little touchy about it! LOL Maybe I can get it when he's not so sensitive...

Soapbox Theory is one of the few sites I've seen that had apparel for men and women, and surprisingly my favorite design is one that is for men! The BP (Black Power) Stance design is awesome. Would be great to have a curvy female figure for a women's shirt!

Goddess Zuri has several lines of t-shirts, many of which have a natural theme like this I'm a Natural tee from the beau-tees line. I love the creativity behind one line especially, the Sorori-tees. They have a natural spin for all four of the NPHC sororities, and one for non-Greeks as well! Only one complaint: it looks like they ran out of ideas by the time they got to my beloved Zeta. -_- I like the design on the Delta tees much better.

Zazzle, like CafePress, has plenty of natural-themed shirts, bags, pins, etc. This Afros are Love tee is among my favorites. In fact, I really like most of the designs under Bushy Baby! Apparel. I haven't found out for sure, but from the design I want to say its the same person who did the "regret" pic that I love. Anyone know for sure?

I know I'm missing some great ones. And I've seen some in the past that I cannot find online. That gives me the sads. LOL Tell me what I've missed! Surely my readers know of some great pro-natural apparel that they're keeping secret :) You can tell me, I promise not to show up in the same place as you with the same shirt!

By the way, one of my projects that I'm working on (besides a new website and book) is a line of natural tees. It's still a little ways off, but I wanted to give y'all a heads up!

Afternoon Quickie: Good Hair

2011-02-28T13:25:00.000-08:00

Today at lunch I got a question I haven't heard in a long time, not since I cut my hair into a bob almost two years ago. The girl at the counter asked, "Is that your real hair?" I can't lie, that lil comment made me smile, like "Yes! I got it back!" But then came the other comment... "Oh, you got that good hair."

-_-

I don't know what to do with this comment. I can't really be mad at someone for saying this; after all, they are trying to give me a compliment. But "good" hair implies that there is such a thing as "bad" hair, which simply isn't true. There are different textures, some which appeal more (to some people) than others or may seem easier to handle. But "good" is determined by the quality of care. Anyone can have "good" hair if they learn what their hair needs and not attempt to do things that should be done by professionals (coloring, relaxing, etc.) on their own/without consultation.

Of course, I can't go into this little shpeel every time someone makes the comment. Usually I just smile awkwardly and say thanks....

Do you say anything when you hear "good/bad hair" comments, or do you tend to let it slide? If you do speak up, what do you say? Let me hear your thoughts. Maybe I'll have something to come back with next time!

Buying Into (and Out Of) the Beauty Myth

2011-02-22T07:35:00.000-08:00

For the longest, I felt like there was a hierarchy of beauty. It was never explicitly stated, but the attitudes and actions of those around me lead me to this belief. It was always:

1. pretty light-skinned with long hair
2. pretty light-skinned
3. light-skinned with long hair
4. light-skinned
5. dark-skinned with long hair
6. dark-skinned

From childhood, I knew I was near the bottom of the totem pole. Then in high school/college big booties got thrown in the mix and I was even lower. According to the messages I received, my saving grace was my thick long hair. I may not have been pretty (because everyone knew dark-skinned girls couldn't be pretty!) but at least I had "good hair" that would cause someone to look my way... unless, of course, the light-skinned girls they looked at first were interested...

Somewhere along the way, I want to say in college, I shook the notion that the only desirable thing about me was my hair. Yes, I still had it long and kept it silky smooth with a perm but I begin to believe in the other aspects of my own beauty. Inner and outer. Amazingly, when I opened my eyes to the truth, I realized that others saw it too. I wasn't alone! Yes, dark-skinned girls could be cute. Yes, even the ones without a big ol booty. And yes, I was one of them! Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus!!

O_O Okay, maybe not the last one; I got caught up in the moment.

My point is this: we've all been fed nonsense about what constitutes beauty. Whether it was from family, the media, significant others... Some of us absorbed more of that thinking than others, but it doesn't mean that you have to continue to buy into that. Regardless of your skin tone, hair texture (or how you wear it), size, whatever... if you don't see the beauty in yourself, you can't expect the world to do it. Yes, we've been bombarded with the European "standard" of beauty, but it's a myth! There is no "standard" of beauty. Hello, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder!" Learn to love what you see in the mirror (even if you want to tweak some things), whether or not it fits other people's definition of beauty.

Tori's Tips for Terrific Twistouts

2011-02-09T22:03:00.000-08:00

To have a great twistout, you have to start with great twists! It's been a year since I started doing my own hair, and the first style I attempted was two-strand twists and the subsequent twistout. Over time, I've developed my own little method for perfecting the twistout.

end of January

1. Twist on dry or semi-dry hair, not wet
I kinda stumbled across this, but I swear it's made all the difference in my twists and twistouts. When I first started doing my two-strand twists, I did them right after washing while they were still wet. Doing this kept me from getting the most out of my twists for two reasons: 1. I couldn't correctly estimate how much hair I was using, so I ended up with fewer, fatter twists than I wanted, and 2. I wasn't ready for how the twists shrank once they dried. On top of that, it took forever for the hair to dry! Now I usually do my twists when my hair is completely dry. If I want to do it after washing, I'll let it air dry about 85% if I have time, or if I'm in a rush I'll spray it with heat protectant and sit under the dryer for a few minutes.

2. Keep your twistout style in mind when deciding the twisting pattern/parts
Instead of just twisting willy-nilly and waiting to see what happens, have a picture in mind of how you want your hair to look. This is more so for the front of your hair than the back. Will it all go straight back? Parted down the middle? The way you part your hair and the direction of the twists will determine how your twistout looks for at least a day or two so keep that in mind.

3. For a "big" twistout, wear twists longer
This is something that I just learned when I did my last twistout a few weeks ago. When I wear my twists only for a day or two, my twistouts are generally smooth, sleek, and not as big. It took a few days of wearing the twistout to get the big hair, but by then I was losing definition. However, this last time I wore the twists for four days. Even with the conditioner and wearing my bonnet at night, I could see the twists starting to puff up. (They were also a little frizzy from the weather). Once I took the twists down, I was amazed at the difference. Three-day twistout hair on day one! So if you're going for a sleek twistout, 1 or 2 days should do; go longer if you want to go bigger.

4. Seal twists with an oil
When I first started doing twists, I used Cantu Shea Butter to seal them. I thought this would give them shine and hold. Not so much. What did give them surprising hold and a good deal of shine was a mix of coconut and olive oil. You may want to experiment with different essential oils to find what you like best, but I would encourage you to incorporate an oil into your twists, especially on the ends.

5. Keep your twists conditioned and scalp well oiled
Just because twists are considered a protective style, that doesn't mean you don't have to do anything! Get a good spray leave-in conditioner such as Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla and get a hit daily. Your hair will thank you! And don't forget your scalp, because you can't have healthy hair without a healthy scalp. Apply your favorite oil to make sure it stays moisturized, especially during the winter. My favorite product for my scalp is We Rock Roots Rock Therapy, though I can also be found resorting to Sulfur 8 from time to time. What can I say? It works for me...

6. Trim your ends before unraveling twists
I haven't been doing this, but I did it on Sunday when I washed my hair and did a chunky twistout. Trimming the old, thin ends of the hair gave it a cleaner, more shapely look. Usually my twistout would include a little haze of random ends shooting out everywhere, looking frizzy and a bit unsightly. Considering that I was about due for a trim anyway, I decided to go ahead with it myself. That extra five minutes made a world of difference for me. This is also the easiest way to dust your hair, IMO.

What are your fool-proof tips for a great twistout? Speak on it!

Make-up Break Pt. I

2011-02-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

Lately *well, it was lately when I started this post... in November* I've been on a makeup/tool shopping spree (which is about to be halted unless I can find a sponsor LOL) and I've had some hits... and some misses. My focus has been mostly on the eyes. They say the eyes are the window to the soul right? Well what's a window without some beautiful treatments? :)

1. Eco Tools Bamboo 6-piece Eye Brush Set

From the site:
THIS EARTH-FRIENDLY SET SHOWS RESPECT FOR THE PLANET:
Highly sustainable bamboo handles
100% cruelty-free, soft taklon bristles
Labeling the brushes made this an instant win!
Recycled aluminum ferrules
Natural cotton and hemp cosmetic bag
Reusable storage pouch

I picked this up for three reasons: it was cute, it was cheap, and I was tired of using the little sponge applicators that come with eyeshadow. My favorite thing about these brushes? On the handle it states which brush it is. That is great for a make up novice like me, because I wouldn't know the smudge brush from the shade brush, the crease from the highlight, and I'd be blending with whatever I grabbed. Although I don't have any other brushes to compare them to, they are a win in my book. The application is a lot easier and better than with the sponges, and at about $7.00 at Walgreens, they didn't hurt my pocket so I'm more likely to go with these than the expensive designer brushes I've seen.

2. Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer (shade: Sin)

from the site:

This miracle eyeshadow primer is unmatched by any other in the beauty industry! The genie in this bottle fulfills three wishes: eyeshadow that lasts, more vibrant and lasting color, and absolutely NO creasing. Apply Primer Potion to lids before shadow application. It dries down almost instantly (and invisibly), creating smooth lids that are super powered eyeshadow magnets.

The formula is full of silicone, which you beauty mavens know makes for a smooth and silky application. Packaged in a pretty genie bottle, our Potion applies with a magic wand and flocked applicator.

I think my expectations for this was a bit off. I assumed that a primer automatically meant that it would make my shadow colors really pop. I didn't really get that, or at least not how I expected. It didn't make much difference on my lid, but under the brow it did too much. Gave me a very clownish look. No bueno. I also have issues with application. Maybe it's just that I'm not used to it, but the brush totally threw me off. I ended up with too much in some places, not enough in others. Definitely a hassle when trying to get out the door in a hurry. However, this primer is not without merit. It kept my shadow from wearing off, which is great considering that I'm usually on the go from the time I put it on in the morning. I'll continue to use primer, but I don't think I'll be dropping another $18 a pop on this one. In the meantime, I'll be adding NYX Jumbo Eye Pencil in Milk to my artillery. According to what I've been reading/YouTube videos, that is THE thing to have to make those colors stand out. We will see!

3. Revlon Illuminance Creme Shadow (shade: Va Va Va Bloom)

Note: this is NOT Va Va Va Bloom. This is Black Magic, the one I really want to try.

From the site:

Discover an endless spectrum of luminosity. Play with all 4 shades and watch your eyes light up a new way every time!

Va Va Va Bloom. I have no idea why this thing wont let me
turn the picture right side up! :-/

I had no real reason for buying this. It was an impulse buy. I was in Wal-Mart and said "oooh pretty colors!" and got it. I was surprised to see that they were cream shadows. Seeing this, I figured, "I bet these colors really pop!" Um, not so much.I had to put a ton of it on to see it, but then that meant creasing. The colors looked great in the packaging but on me they looked rather dull and blah. I think they would be awesome on someone with light skin, but they just didn't do it for me. Not even with the primer. I'm torn because I want to try some other shades but I don't want to be disappointed! The pallets I'm really feeling are Black Magic, Wild Orchids (although I probably won't try it since it looks a lot like Va Va Va Bloom), Precious Metals, Copper Canyon, and Twilight. I can't remember how much it was (my bad) but I don't believe it was more than $8. And since it was cheap, I may have to hunt down the Black Magic and give Revlon a second chance.

Relaxed Hair Must-Haves

2011-01-26T09:36:00.000-08:00

I think I've said this here before, but can't remember for sure. When I had a perm, I didn't know how to do a thing with my hair, and didn't know what products to use. The most I did was wrap it, roll it, or put it in a ponytail. My mom was gracious enough to oil my scalp with Sulfur 8 after I got it done. That was it. I think I washed my hair all of ONCE back then, and that was because it was an emergency. I was in college and used whatever shampoo sample I had lying around from one of the campus events. Had no idea what I was doing! LOL

Well, for any permies who come across this blog, this link's for you! The Anti Hair Slave has a list of must-haves for you ladies that relax your hair. I was slightly surprised to see the same products/tools that are recommended for natural hair, but then again I guess I shouldn't be, huh? Anyway, don't say I never gave you anything! LOL

Confessions

2011-01-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

Forgive me fellow naturals, for I have sinned...

Okay that may be a bit strong! LOL But there are some Dos & Don'ts that I tend to break fairly often. I guess I should change my ways, but for now, let me just absolve my guilt by confessing.

1. I don't detangle as I should. *hears audible gasps from the crowd* I know, I know: it's horrible! But here's the thing: When I do wash & gos, I don't really have time to sit there and detangle. Hello, I gotta go! And when I do a "real" wash complete with deep conditioning, I try detangling while the conditioner is still in my hair and then I have to do it again after I rinse. That's about 40 minutes each time. Who has patience for that? Nuh uh, not Tori D.! And the killer part? As soon as my hair dries, it coils and tangles right back up. >_< Maybe this could be helped if I tried a new tool, like the Tangle Teezer I've been reading about lately or had a product with more slip (I'm out of conditioner and open to suggestions!)

2. I have not done a protective style yet. Yes, I wore my french roll up-do for a couple of days, but considering the fact that I still had the front out, I don't think that was actually a protective style. I would love to do some, especially some of the cute flat twist styles that I have seen. They look so simple and elegant... Unfortunately my skill level is 0 when it comes to those flat twists, honey! I'm not sure if it's due to my length, texture, thickness, or if I just don't know what I'm doing, but the results of my efforts are not anything I would want the general public to see! And I planned on keeping kinky twists in for most of the winter, but time and a tight budget have prevented that.

3. I usually don't do anything to my hair at night. I throw the bonnet over my fro and hope for the best in the morning. Sometimes it's okay after I shower (the power of steam y'all; it works!) and put a little leave-in conditioner on it. Other times? The results make me wanna cry! But doing a head full of two-strand twists can be tedious (especially when you come home tipsy at 2:00 AM) and as I mentioned up there ^ I still have not figured out flat twists... Or cornrows, for that matter.

4. I don't co-wash that often during the winter. I did plenty of co-washing during the summer when morning wash & gos were my go-to style.But since the weather is all types of cold right now, that's not happening. So I spray my Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-In on it daily, but honestly I don't think it does as well as a good thorough co-wash. Oh well, it is what it is until it warms up...

5. I still haven't figured out my hair type. Some naturals swear by hair typing, and there are products and tools that supposedly work better for certain types of hair. However, my method of trial and error seems to be going pretty well--even without me knowing whether I'm a 3c or 4a or 5z. Besides, I have patches of hair that completely differ from other sections. It's not as if I'm going to put one product here, another there, etc. because it's been said that one is best for whatever type that patch is. Seems like too much work. I know it's kinky and coily. Good enough.

So what are the "rules" that you tend to break from time to time-- or all the time?

Natural Newbie Giveaway Winner!

2011-01-21T14:09:00.000-08:00

Well the time has come for me to announce the winner of the Newbie Giveaway! I had some awesome submissions, and I'm thankful to everyone who participated. You all have some great stories, and I hope and pray that you all stay encouraged in this journey! Unfortunately, though, there can only be one winner (this time). And that winner is..... *drum roll*

Dawnica aka "Lady Hicks"!

I loved what she had to say about her decision to go natural and what she's discovered about herself in the time since deciding to transition. She writes:

My story started in September 2009. In route to my beautician to get a relaxer, I had thoughts in my head at this particular time where I wanted a change. At this point, my hair was down to my shoulders, so I was wanting some[thing] young and fun. I decided to get it cut into a long bob....but that not what I received. When I left, I went from a beautiful long tresses to a mushroom mess....not to mention I had a huge patch of hair "missing" in the back of my head. Around that same time, I started reading Psalms 139 and begin to realize that God truly made me unique and here I was trying to be a copycat of what I thought I should be. That's when I decided to go natural...but unfortunately I received no support from family and friends. I got so much discouragement from people..which pushed me closer to what God truly thought of me. His Word says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Since that time I have encouraged and helped others to the natural side thru videos and information I have found on the damaging effects of chemical relaxer and natural hairstyles that a "non" professional can achieve.I had my BC in July 2010 and I love my hair. In becoming natural and loving it, I have inspired 6 of my friends to make the switch to become natural and embrace the way God made them. I have also created a Facebook page "For Nappy Girls Only" as a forum to swap hair tips, share hair journeys and offer encouragement to other transitioning ladies. I love my hair and will continue to encourage others to love themselves the way God designed us:
as a
BEAUTY- Be Exactly A Unique Type= YOU

Thank you for your submission Lady Hicks! You are a BEAUTY, inside and out! Be sure to email me an address to send your gift, as well as whether you'd like to receive a hair accessory or jewelry.

Who taught you to hate?

2011-01-21T08:15:00.000-08:00

“Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet? Who taught you to hate your own kind? Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don’t want to be around each other? ... you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God made you.”

(Malcolm X – May 22, 1962, Los Angeles)

Natural Newbie Giveaway!

2011-01-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! If you're new to this whole natural thing, have I got a goodie for you! Chris-Tia Donaldson, author of Thank God I'm Natural, has offered a copy of her book to one of my awesome followers! TGIN is a great reference tool at any stage of the natural journey, but I found it especially useful when I was just getting started. It's full of great tips, scientific info and product recipes. (You can find my review of her book here) In addition to that, I will also be giving away a surprise goodie: winner's choice of jewelry or hair accessory.

The rules for this contest are very simple:

1. Either a) be a transitioner, b) plan on doing the BC in 2011, or c) be a natural newbie--for the purpose of this contest, that's 12 months or less completely natural. Clearly this is on the honor system, but be honest! There will be other giveaways open to everyone, trust :)

2. Follow this blog through Google Friend Connect. Just hit that little button to the right.

3. Submit a short entry about your reason/inspiration to go natural. You may also submit a picture, whether it be pre-BC, post-BC or a picture of someone whose hair you admire. Submissions should be sent to toridblogs@gmail.com.

It's as simple as that! Entries must be submitted by January 18, 2011, and a winner will be announced on Friday, January 21, 2011. So hop to it natural newbs!

Psssst! Want another chance to win? Follow me on Twitter! (Leave a comment here so I'll know to count your follow as an entry). And for yet another way to win, tweet the following:

I entered @kinxnquirx Newbie Giveaway! Have you? http://is.gd/k5vyW

The Blowout

2011-01-02T23:11:00.000-08:00

Two Sundays ago I finally got the time (and the nerve) to straighten my hair. It was a little daunting to me, as my hair hadn't been straightened since late February/early March. But I figured why not? The weather was cooperating, and it's not like I'd been keeping my hair in a protective style anyway. It was as good a time as any. I took to blogs and books, trying to determine what the best route would be. I finally decided on the following method:

1. Wash and clarify.
I washed with my usual Optimum Oil Therapy moisturizing shampoo. (I think it's sulfate-free, but I'll have to double check that...) Then I followed up with a lemon juice & warm water clarifying treatment I saw in Thank God I'm Natural. Let that sit for about 10 minutes, then rinsed. Honestly, I didn't notice too much difference between when I clarify and when I don't. However, from my understanding, the difference wouldn't have shown at that point anyway.

2. Deep condition and detangle.
I applied my coconut and olive oil conditioners and let that sit for about 45 minutes. My plan was to go for about 20 minutes with the conditioner under the dryer, but I was too lazy to pull it out. (Sad, I know LOL) After letting it sit, I sectioned off my hair and got to detangling. Fortunately, it was relatively smooth going with minimal shedding. The exception, of course, is that odd patch of hair on the crown of my head that defies all typing, regimens and logic. That section took a lotta time and patience ~~that I just don't have~~. Eventually, I got through it and rinsed. My hair was feeling all kinds of soft, smooth and slippery.

3. Blow dry and flat iron. (I.E., turn it over to Momma)
I wanted to tackle this beast on my own. I figured I might as well learn how to do it for myself... But what I learned is that straightening is something best left to the pros. Or at least to someone who can see what the heck they're doing. After blow drying about half of my head, I turned it over to my mom. When blow drying, I sprayed each section with both Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla Leave-In and Frizz Ease Heat Defeat. When flat ironing, my mom gave it another hit of the heat protectant. She also insisted on using a little bit of spray oil . I can't see where it hurt or helped.

I swear my mom was born to straighten hair. It did really well Monday and Tuesday... Wednesday the weather didn't wanna cooperate with me so it got a lil puffy. It was kinda down hill from there. By Sunday I had it slicked back with a phony pony attached.

the back after momma finished. why do the gray hairs always stick out?!

Monday

Tuesday

Wednesday

phony pony time!

I love the results, but it's not something that I'd want to do on the regular. I missed my curls too much!

Up-Do! French roll with bang

2011-01-02T22:35:00.000-08:00

For several months now, I've wanted to wear my hair up. There are only so many times I could look at the puff, fro or twist out. I've attempted different styles but it just never really worked out for me. Sad, right?

Well, on Wednesday evening I was going through my blog roll and saw that Jenelle at Kinky Curly Coily Me! had done a YouTube tutorial on an up-do.

Of course I had to try it, so I got in the mirror and went to work. It took a little time and manipulation, but I finally got it. I figured out that I couldn't "roll" my hair to the left, though that's the way I've always tried it. Once I tried rolling/twisting it to the right, it was simple as could be. I also had to make a few minor changes.
I don't have any plain hair combs (how is that?) so I had to use a buttload of bobby pins. This was good and bad: good because I definitely had a secure hold, but bad because they had my head itching! Another change that I had to make was with the sides. I couldn't twist the sides; for some reason that just didn't work out for me. I ended up making a smaller french twist up top, then did some pulling, tucking, and pinning until I was happy with the look I had. And I definitely had to hit those edges with some Eco Styler.
Over all, my approach was a bit haphazard, but I was pleased with the results. I was able to wear it Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Unfortunately I couldn't quite get that roll going today. (I had to take it down before bed last night; the pins were killing me!) Here are the pix, but you'll definitely want to check out the tutorial to get a cleaner look. What's the verdict on this one? Although I didn't do a flower with this, I think I'll add my decorative combs to the french roll next time...

The back. Not the neatest or the best, but I was happy with it!

I wasn't aware that that part was so visible... oops!

Makes for an interesting side profile, no?

Close up of the front

Playing Catch Up

2010-12-28T06:24:00.000-08:00

Good morning everyone! This is just a brief note to address a few things:

1. I'm playing catch up as far as posts and replying to comments. I'm finally done with school (yaaaayyyy) and since it's slow at work I have a little time to play over here. In the coming year, I will try to plan my posts a bit better so that they won't be so sporadic. You all can help play a major part in this by submitting your stories, questions, pix, etc. to toridblogs@gmail.com. I want this to be as much about you as it is about me!

2. I have some ideas for this blog that will (hopefully) be implemented soon and I would LOVE input from you all about what type of content you'd like to see more of, less of, etc.

3. There will be a Thank God I'm Natural giveaway soon. As in, next week soon. This will be specifically targeting transitioners and natural newbies (six months or less since the big chop). Go on and get your follow on now if you haven't already, and if you know someone who is transitioning or recently did the BC, spread the word.

4. If you want to see what I'm up to when I'm not ~~procrastinating~~ posting here, you can always hit me up on Twitter or The Good Hair Photos (which features fashion, makeup and of course natural hair).

Six Months Natural!!

2010-12-26T19:28:00.000-08:00

This post should've been posted several weeks ago. My apologies!

December 1st marked six months since I cut off my permed hair and could say that I was completely, 100% natural! Initially, I planned to straighten my hair to do a length check. However, the plans for this past weekend prompted me to postpone that. However, I still wanted to share my length so far. Of course, when I straighten it, I'll have more pix up to actually show the length without any shrinkage. But for now, we'll have to make due with a good ol' taut pull of the hair.

Not really sure why I didn't measure my hair after the BC (probably because I was still in shock)... Major fail on my part, I know! So I can't say how much of this is from the 10 months of transitioning and how within the last 6 months. But at least I'll have something to compare with the 1 year mark!

I will be measuring different sections of my hair, since I know they are all probably different lengths. And once I get my hair straightened, evened up and cut into a style, I'll lose a bit more length and have to measure all over again. But anywho, here are the front, sides, back, and crown of my hair as of today ("today" being December 8).

Front: 8.5" stretched, 3" with shrinkage
Crown: 8" stretched, 3 5/8" with shrinkage
Left side: 7 2/3" stretched, 2 1/5" with shrinkage

Right side: 7" stretched, 3" with shrinkage
Back: 5 2/3" stretched, 2 2/3" with shrinkage

Of course, the length will be a lot easier to see once I straighten my hair. I guess that's pretty good for about 16 months of growth and after one trim. Can't wait to see what the one-year check will look like!

I "broke up" with my bestie because of my hair.

2010-12-10T14:21:00.000-08:00

Admittedly, we had grown apart due to some other issues, but my hair is what sealed the deal for me.

Up until a few months ago, my best friend was a guy I'd gone to high school with. Our relationship was weird, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I loved him because he forced me to be honest with myself on a number of things. We butted heads all the time though, and I was always quitting him over something he'd said.

A couple of months ago I was out at some little event, not really being social. He called (or did I call him? I don't remember) and I told him what I was up to, so he decided to come by. This was the first time he'd seen me since I did the BC. I knew he would have something to say, because he fussed when I cut my hair into a bob. He likes long hair and was used to seeing me with almost bra strap length hair. But I was not expecting the severe reaction I got. As soon as he saw me, his face scrunched up. "What did you do to it?" he asked.

"Well, I told you I was going natural... I finally cut off the perm."

"Hmph. I don't like it. I don't really care for the natural look. It's not you." [I will spare you my inner commentary on how ridiculous that statement was.] "It's ugly."

I was crushed. At the gathering I'd received comments from other guys--strangers and distant acquaintances--saying they loved my fluffy lil fro. But here was the one guy whose opinion mattered the most to me--more than anyone, including my BF who was just a potential at the time--telling me I was ugly. He and my dad were the only people who had said that. I was beyond pissed. Then I got to thinking "Why the hell does his opinion of beauty matter?" He's always had a thing for white women and light-bright-almost-white black women. Of course he wouldn't think something so unmistakably black to be attractive! The long straight hair seemed to be my redeeming quality in his eyes. As we sat there barely chatting the rest of the evening, I got over it and him.

I'm not saying he had to like it. There have probably been plenty of people who haven't. But he had to call me ugly? He couldn't have said something a little more positive or supportive like, "I liked the long hair better but maybe this will grow on me," or "If you're happy with it that's all that matters," or something! But that opened my eyes and made me realize that there were several things that he had not been supportive of over recent years. This was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I have not spoken to him since.

And that, dears and sirs, is how my fro caused my bestie to become "ex-bestie."

On why I could never be a natural nazi

2010-12-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

The day I hit my six month nappiversary, I took to Twitter because I was excited that I'd made it this far without going back to the creamy crack. After congratulating me, one of my cousins tweeted the following:

I'm glad none of my #naturalhair family/friends hv tried to convert me. That the [sic] journey is made on an individual basis. #no1forallsHERE

I completely understand and share her sentiment. One thing that kind of turned me off from going natural sooner was the fact that I was encountering "natural nazis," those sisters who assumed that because my hair was relaxed I was attempting to be white. Women who assumed that I didn't love myself. Folks who deemed themselves better than me because I didn't do to my hair what they did to theirs. People who were defensive because they thought I thought I was better than them because of my hair, even though I was envious of the women I saw rocking big beautiful fros. Eventually I realized that I couldn't let a few abrasive people determine what I did for and to myself.

Having that kind of experience, I myself refrain from pushing my opinion on others about their hair. I know some people that I think would be so fierce with a fro or lovely with locs (ya like that consonance dontcha?) but they also look gorgeous with their hair permed. There are a few ladies I know who I really want to tell "Your messed up edges and ragged split ends are horrid! Go natural or let someone perm it who knows what they are doing!" but I don't, I hold my tongue. Now of course, if someone asks my opinion I'll certainly give it to them. I'll let anyone know that they too can go natural and be beautiful, but only if they ask. Just like I don't like the "advice" I get from some that I need to go back to the perm, I don't give advice that others need to get it go.

A person's hair is theirs, just like their face, boobs, butt, whatever. Who am I to tell someone they need to change their nose or lips or a little bit of belly? That is their decision, and whatever changes they make should be their own. Hair included.

Wishlist

2010-11-30T12:21:00.000-08:00

Although I'm not big on the holidays, I'm always up for getting stuff! (And I'm not so grinch-tastic that I don't give gifts as well... but only to a select few!) My short wishlist this year is mostly comprised of hair & beauty goodies that I either can't splurge on right now (pockets are kinda tight) or would feel bad about if I bought them now, but would definitely accept if someone gave them to me. After all, I'm not a product junkie if someone just gives them to me, right? Right. So here is what you can send your favorite blogger (who? me, of course!) if you're full of the holiday spirit.

1. Wen haircare system I've been curious about Wen since I started transitioning, but I have yet to try it. I'm a bit skeptical of its claims to work on all hair types, but nothing like putting it to the test to be sure.

2. Huetiful hair steamer Since starting my transition, I've read several blogs that mentioned hair steaming. I didn't really think too much about it, but that has since changed. Since it's gotten cooler, I can tell a huge difference between how my hair looks and feels when I first wake up and after I take my shower. The steam has it so soft and big! It would be awesome to get the benefits of steaming my hair while deep conditioning, but usually when I DC I'm doing a million other things so I never just sit in the bathroom. With the Huetiful hair steamer I could set it up in whatever room I happen to be in and let it do its thing while I ~~mindlessly watch tv~~ do something productive. And sure, I'll take the facial attachment as well!

3. A Denman brush I've still never seen one in real life. LOL Yes, I've checked Sally's, but the times I've been they didn't had them. So I don't even know which one to get! And I refuse to order it online, seeing as I have no idea how it feels and whether it would be worth it. Yeah, I've heard they're great and all, but still... But if you wanna pass it along to me, I'll take it!

4. A Sephora gift card I've fallen in love with Sephora, y'all! There's only one little Sephora around here, tucked away in a JCPenney's. That is the only thing I visit that particular Penney's for ('cuz that location's plus size selection sucks). Now that I've found out they have Carol's Daughter products and well as a buncha yummy delicious makeup to try out, I need some extra funds specifically for Sephora!

5. A phony pony that looks like it's natural hair that's been blown out. Most of what I've found has been either shiny super straight ponytails, or puffs that look duller, tighter, and all around worse than my hair. There is this one ponytail that I bought, not too straight, sorta wavy. But I dunno how well it will work considering that it's rather shiny... We'll see. I still need more though; gotta switch it up!

So that's my little wishlist. Got anything on yours related to hair and/or beauty?

Morning Quickie: My Hair is Soft Again!!

2010-11-16T08:23:00.000-08:00

You know, last week in one of my posts, I discussed how the change in weather had caused my hair to be a bit dry. I used Suave Almond & Shea Butter conditioner as a leave-in until I was able to find a good leave-in. (BTW, I used the Suave when doing my twists recently, and they came out great! You can see a few pix of it on TGHP, and I'll be doing a post on it soon.)

The other day I dropped by the Sephora counter and was pleasantly surprised to see that they now carry Carol's Daughter! I've been saying I was going to try their products for a minute now, but I hadn't. I figured now was the time. I was tempted to get the Hair Milk that I hear so much about, but something else piqued my interest: the Black Vanilla Leave-In Conditioner. The label said "Hydrating refresher and detangler for dry hair." I figured "It's only $12, let's give it a go." The first couple of days I used it, I couldn't really tell much difference because I still had my twists in. When I finally took them down and used it, my hair was so soft!

Then yesterday, I got the bright idea to mist my hair before using the Carol's Daughter. I used the same mist that I'd used on my hair the night that I did my twist: a simple mix of coconut oil, olive oil and water (I didn't use measurements, just eyeballed it). Y'all... OMG... I never knew hair could be that super soft. I couldn't keep my hair out of it because I couldn't believe it. I love love love the results. The Black Vanilla Leave-In is a light mist, so it didn't weigh my hair down and it wasn't drippy. Also, it smells so yummy! I don't have a single bad thing to say about it. Now I'm anxious to try some other CD products!

BTW, here are the list of ingredients (courtesy of carolsdaughter.com):

Water (Aqua), Polysorbate 80, Glycerin, Panthenol (Pro-vitamin B5), Sodium Hyaluronate, Sodium PCA, Butylene Glycol, Lavandula Angustifolia (Lavender) Flower/Leaf Stem, Lonicera Caprifolium (Honeysuckle) Flower Extract, Lonicera Japonica (Japanese Honeysuckle) Flower Extract, Salvia Officinalis (Sage) Leaf Extract, Calendula Officinalis Flower Extract, Hydrolyzed Wheat Protein, Hydrolyzed Wheat Starch, Hydrolyzed Corn Starch, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid, Caramel, Fragrance (Parfum)

Interview with a Natural

2010-11-15T07:00:00.000-08:00

Last week I asked for submissions of pretty much any kind, and thankfully I've already received one! Julie was an inspiration and encouragement for me when I decided to go natural. She has so graciously offered to share a bit of everything with us concerning her hair, so here is her story in her own words and pictures.

Transition Story:

before starting the 1 yr protective styling challenge

This is actually my second time around going natural. The first time was in 2003 when just the idea of going natural was interesting to me. I didn’t really know what I was doing though. The first thing I did was to get some color. I thought by adding color, it would make my hair look interesting, but I now see that it added to the reason why I went back to chemicals. Since I wasn’t up on how to actually STYLE natural hair or what products to use, I kept it in an afro puff. After a while, you get kinda tired of puffs and you want to do something else. I didn’t know how to braid my own hair, or even twist it, so I got bored quickly. That lead me to straightening my hair, which lead me to trying a texturizer….next thing you know, I succumbed to the creamy crack. *insert violins*

This time around, I planned for it. Since I was pregnant with my first child, I decided that it would be a good time to start transitioning (January 2008). I was all about the roller sets and the half wigs. I kept it up for about 8 months when the anticipation and the excitement about being totally natural finally got to me. My husband and I did the BC a few days before my birthday in August (I say my husband because he helped me cut off the hair I couldn’t see in the mirror). I’ve been straight hair free ever since.

Product Rant:

Dr. Bronner’s Pure Castille Soap (Hemp Peppermint). I decided when I started transitioning that I would stick to products that had the most raw, organic, “natural” ingredients as possible. I heard such good things about this product that I was excited to try it. I was expecting my hair to be clean, but soft. WHAT A MISTAKE. My hair ended up being so dry and so coarse it took a couple of WEEKS for my hair to feel soft again. I took a look at the ingredients (AGAIN) and don’t know what it could have been that made my hair so dry, but it did not like it AT ALL. Now, I’m saying this to discourage others from using it. I’m just saying it did not work for MY hair.


Instead of using a strict regimen, Julie trims her ends on a need-to basis.

Product Rave:

One time HELLO HYDRATION from Herbal Essence!! That is the BEST conditioner I have had the pleasure of using! I’ve tried cheapo conditioners, average conditioners, and the “luxury” conditioners. They are pretty much all the same, but for some reason, my hair really takes to HELLO HYDRATION. It’s the perfect detangler and with some coconut/olive oils, a great deep conditioner.

Product Recipe: (I don’t do measurements; I just put whatever I feel like adding into my stuff)

My leave in conditioner:

Sally’s generic Infusium 23 Leave-In Conditioner

Coconut Oil

Olive Oil

Rosemary Oil

Peppermint Oil

Glycerin

Aloe Vera Juice

Kinky Kurly’s Knot Today (if/when available)

Emu Oil

Pre-wash/Deep Conditioner:

Hello Hydration

Olive Oil

Coconut Oil

Cover hair with a plastic shower cap and a hot damp towel/turban for 30 minutes

Why did I go natural?

Honestly, I got tired of my hair constantly coming out. It seemed like at one time I had more hair on my bathroom floor than on my head. My hair was straight, but it was limp, flat, breaking, and boring. I started doing research online as to what I can do to stop hair loss. I started seeing all of these women who had natural hair and the funky, cool styles they were able to do with their hair. I told myself that I didn’t have that “mixed hair look”, so like a lot of other women, thought “it wouldn’t look right on me”. But as I did more research, I saw natural women who had my type of hair. I thought…hmmm….maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I had a cute face, so at least I can play it off if it doesn’t work out with hats, scarves, or accessories!

Reactions from friends/family/co-workers/etc?

APL (arm pit length)

You know, the only real negative reactions I got were from my parents. Understand now, my hair was very short when I got my first BC. My mom just didn’t understand why I would want to be look like a boy. They are from the old school where women should strive for long hair and men kept their hair very short. She then asked me what “my plans were”. My plans? “Yes”, she says. “What do you plan on doing to your hair when it grows out? Do you want to keep it in an afro? Are you getting DREADlocks?!?!” Do you want to be a Rasta?!?” All I could do was LOL!!! My dad didn’t really have anything particularly bad to say, but he didn’t think it would look “nice” if my hair was short and nappy, especially going to work. I didn’t take offense; I know that my parents have never seen images of modern natural hair styles. There frame of reference was from the 60s/70s.

For the most part, I’ve gotten positive feedback from everyone including co-workers, strangers, and friends. My husband absolutely loves it. But then again, he loves anything that’s not a weave!

How has being natural affected your life?
It has definitely made me more aware of what I am putting into my body. Being an “ingredient reader” has spilled over into what I eat and drink. I am also very cautious about what I do with and how I do my child’s hair. I want to make sure that she has a deep appreciation for her God-given curls.

Questions/Comments/Concerns about being natural?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! I LOVE BEING NATURAL! It’s not an easy road, but it’s the best road for me!

One of her protective styling options

Suave Almond & Shea Butter Conditioner

2010-11-08T07:17:00.000-08:00

The sudden change in weather (and I do mean sudden--open toes one week, boots the next?!) has left my hair feeling something awful. It's been pretty stiff and woolly... just not soft at all. Up until now, my Shea Moisture Curl & Style Milk did the trick. Even though it's not technically a conditioner, that's what I was using it for; it was perfect during the warmer months. Now? Nothing.


Note: I've only used the conditioner.

I'd purchased the Suave Almond & Shea Butter Conditioner on a whim a few weeks ago, simply because I was out of conditioner, needed to do a co-wash and wanted to try a different product. Really no rhyme or reason in my choice. So I used it... and I wasn't too impressed with the results. Although it did have a nice amount of slip while I was washing my hair, once it dried, I wasn't left with the super-soft feel I was hoping for.

Fast forward to last night. My hair was just... blah. I didn't have time to do my usual deep conditioning with my mix of Palmer's Coconut Oil Deep Conditioning Protein Pack and Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Replenishing Pak, but I needed something ASAP. I did a quick search online to see if others had tried regular conditioner as a leave in. And they had; there were mixed reviews for the Almond & Shea Butter as a leave-in. Some reported that it worked great, some said they had some flaking. I figured, what the heck? So I sectioned my hair off, worked the conditioner into my dry hair (I didn't think to mist it), and did my usual chunky twists.

This morning I woke up to much softer hair! It's still not super-soft like I like, but it's a 100% improvement over yesterday's roughness. Not sure why I didn't think of this before. Of course it doesn't take the place of doing my DC, but it will do in a pinch. One drawback is that my hair looks a little duller than I thought it would. Not a big deal, but still...

So yeah... I tried something new and fortunately it worked out for me! I'll still be looking for a good leave-in that's actually a leave-in but until then, this will do!

Naturals in Media

2010-11-05T14:11:00.000-07:00

Yahoo! Shine seems to be loving the natural models as of late.

Her hair is giving me so much life right now!! This beauty with the AWESOME red fro was spotted in an article on 5 ways to outsmart restaurant menus. (BTW, it's a pretty interesting read.)

Winter Regimen

2010-11-03T10:54:00.000-07:00

This is the *plan*. It may or may not go like this because it's really trial and error. But for my first winter as a natural, I think it's gonna go something like this...

For most of the winter, I plan to wear kinky twists as my protective style. I would love to be able to do this using only my hair, but I think I'm gonna have to go with some additional hair to get the length that I want, since I'd like to be able to pull it back in a ponytail or wear it up occasionally. I really love my soror Dandria's twists (shown to the right) and I'm hoping to achieve a similar look.

I also plan to straighten my hair a couple of times while the weather is cooperative. The first time will be around the first of December so I can do a length check. Although I considered going to a salon to get this done, I've decided to ~~do this myself~~ get my mom to do it. There are two main reasons for this decision. The lady that I went to for my trim was great, but admitted that she doesn't do too much with natural hair other than wash, cut and color it. As fearful as I am of heat damage, I know not to press my luck with that. Secondly, Jackson doesn't have a lot of options for a natural girl, and the one salon I found that "specializes" in natural hair wants to charge a minimum of $65 for a shampoo and press. Ummm, I didn't pay that much to get touch-ups, I'm certainly not gonna pay that for a press. No ma'am, my budget is too tight for that. So the plan is to wash and deep condition as usual, then apply a heat protectant (the Oil Therapy 3-in-1 Creme Moisturizer claims it works as a heat protectant, but I'm not sure... Anyone have a recommendation?) and let my mom blow it out using a blow dryer and flat irons. I'm going back to the lady who clipped my ends before to have her trim and style my hair, because I know nothing about that.

The straight hair will probably last a week, week & a half. Maybe two weeks if I act right. In the time between pressed hair and kinky twists, I will probably continue to do twist outs. I need to work on my two-strand twisting so that I won't be ashamed to wear them for a couple of days. I've gotten so used to doing the chunky twists and immediately doing a twist-out; I think I've gotten rusty!

As far as my product line up, I'm not sure what to change! I know to give the glycerin a rest for a while, since there won't be nearly as much moisture in the air. I'm trying to figure out which essential oils I'll be trying out. First up to try are rosemary and jojoba oils. And I may be regularly going back to Sulfur 8 to oil my scalp. Hey, it works for me! And I know how my scalp gets when it's cold. Of course I'll give the oils a try first, but if it's not satisfactory... back to the grease I go. I'll probably be changing up my shampoo, but that's just because I want to try to full Shea Moisture line. I already stretch washing to about a week and a half, with little to no co-washing in between (bad, bad Tori!) so I'll probably start alternating between shampoo and co-washing every 2 weeks. As the season progresses I will make whatever changes I see are necessary. Hopefully there won't be many!

Soooo yeah! That's how my winter regimen is shaping up in my head. Any natural hair old heads have some advice or go-to winter products?

Dreaming of Length

2010-11-03T08:54:00.000-07:00

I think I need professional help. LOL

Without fail, at least a couple times a month since I did the big chop, I have recurring dreams of having long hair again! :( The dreams are pretty much the same. I wash my hair, comb out my curls. At that point it's almost shoulder length, about where I think it is now. Then I flat iron it and voila! I'm slangin' silky-smooth butt-length hair!

If I hadn't cut my hair into a bob last year and hadn't done the big chop this year, my hair could very well have been down my back. Shoot, it was already approaching bra strap length. I think my subconscious is calling me stupid for cutting it, especially since I did love having long hair. Don't get me wrong, my coils are gorgeous--and different! I get compliments on my hair all the time. I'm just ready for it to get some hang time, to be long as heck again. And this time it'll be all big and fluffy! Maybe by this time next year I'll be there.

But someone pleeeeaaaase tell me I am not alone in this!

Have you ever been haunted in your dreams by hair issues? A cut, color, damage, etc? C'mon, I know someone out there has something!

Naturals in Media

2010-11-01T13:59:00.000-07:00

Not really an ad buuuut...

This picture accompanied a Yahoo! Shine blurb for the article "5 Biological Reasons You May Be Attracted to Someone." Oddly, it didn't appear with the article itself... *shrug*

Then and Now

2010-10-31T18:34:00.000-07:00

JSU Homecoming 2009

September 23, 2009

2 months into my transition

JSU Homecoming 2010

October 29, 2010

almost 5 months natural

(pictured with my bestie & soror Jessica)

Must -Try Protective Style

2010-10-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

I was browsing K is for Kinky the other day and came across a post about a protective style. I don't really know much about protective styling, but since winter is approaching (eventually... it's still almost 90 degrees here) I figured I need to get a style or two under my belt. This is a simple style (or should be if you know what you're doing) that works for work, school, a formal event, Saturday shopping, whatever. I tried it the night I saw it... the results were not great. I have not had any experience flat twisting, so I need to work on that. But once I get it down (or find someone who can do it for me ^_^) I'll be rocking this look all the time. The K is for Kinky post also has great fashion & accessory info as well, so check that out if you dig her over all look like I do.

Never Never (Again) Land

2010-10-26T08:45:00.000-07:00

I have been pretty fortunate when it comes to products. I haven't developed product junkie-ism *knock on wood* and the majority of the products I have tried work pretty well with my hair.

However, as I was looking through my little bag of hair goodies, I did notice some products tossed in that I know I'll never purchase again. I haven't thrown them out because... well that would be wasteful, considering they are all over half full. I mean, they must be good for something, right? Oh gosh, am I a product hoarder?!

I digress.

Here are the four items that I can do without. No product bashing here, but they just don't work on the fickle follicles atop my head.

1. Softsheen Carson Optimum Oil Therapy Hair & Scalp Quencher

Contrary to the name, it did not quench my scalp. I bought this product as a replacement to the Sulfur 8 that I used to use to oil my scalp after I got it done (during the relaxed days). I was basically shooting in the dark trying to find another product, but since I was already a fan of the Optimum Oil Therapy Shampoo & Moisture Creme, I figured I'd give it a shot. I didn't care for the consistency of this... product (I still don't know if I should call it grease or oil or what). It was really pretty watery and melted to the touch--not in the good way either. My scalp felt like there was nothing on it, still just as dry as before I put it on. Not sure why it didn't work for me, but I'm not planning to revisit that. I'll stick with the Sulfur 8. Never had an issue with it before (other than the smell, of course).

2. Miss Jessie's Stretch Silkening Creme

I basically told everything in this post. Tried it on soaking wet hair and completely dry hair. Didn't work either way. The one redeeming quality was that if I misted my hair and used this on the edges, it gave me decent waves for my puffs. But that's just not good enough for the $22 price tag.

3. We Rock Roots Rock Out Butter

My complaint with this is very similar to the issue with the Hair & Scalp Quencher. It was too light. Felt (and looked) like nothing was there. The rest of the We Rock Roots line was amazing to me, but this one fell short of my expectations. If I need butter, I'll stick with their Rock On butter.

4. Urban Therapy Twisted Sista Curl Activator

This gave my curls some definition, but no more than my Shea Moisture Curl & Style Milk. On top of that, it left my hair feeling... icky. It was stiff and kinda lifeless. After two tries with this one, I decided to count it as a loss and haven't used it since.

Have you purchased any products that didn't quite live up to the hype? Or tried something new with less-than-stellar results? What products have you vowed to never use again?

AfriqueLaChic Giveaway Winner!

2010-10-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

Well, the contest has come to a close, and what an overwhelming amount of responses! I was inundated with entries. How could I pick a winner from all ONE entries? /sarcasm

Lesson learned here: don't try to do a giveaway until you have enough followers to do so. -_- lol

At any rate, there was a winner, which is all that matters! And the winner is.... *drum roll*

L. Michelle of My Hair...Is Me fame!

For the winter, she will be alternating between twists and twist outs.

I've already expressed my utter jealousy of her twist out, as mine never comes out that defined.

If anyone can rock Afrique La Chic properly, I know my beautiful Soror can! Congrats!

To The Newbies Who Feel Overwhelmed

2010-10-19T14:13:00.000-07:00

It seems like a lot sometimes, huh? Searching for the perfect products, the right routine. Spending money on different gadgets to see "What does this do?" Reading or hearing conflicting advice from supposed "experts." The hair envy. Deciding whether to take on your newly nappy hair or entrusting it to someone else. Learning what seems like a whole new language, not to mention chemistry and cooking, apparently!

Although it can get a bit overwhelming, take my simple advice:

Don't Stress!

It is a learning process, and just like pretty much anything else, you won't learn it overnight. It's trial and error. Over time you'll learn what products your hair does & doesn't like, what styles work best for you, and what corners you can cut with minimal damage. (My corner cutting confession: I don't detangle like I should. I let my curls just sit there however they turn out, especially when I do my wash & go. Fortunately I have my tangling/knots are at a minimum.)

So read the blogs, try the products. Eventually you will find your groove. Til then, have fun experimenting!

The AfriqueLaChic Giveaway!!

2010-10-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Twitter, I've found a lot of great people. When using the #naturalhair hashtag, you not only see others who are embracing their hair, but you will also discover a ton of artistic folks who do their thing when it comes to jewelry and accessories.

One such person happens to be Afua Kumasi (@afuakumasi). I discovered her early in my transition and fell in love with her work. You've no doubt seen some of her earrings on this blog, but if not, let me show them (and some other goodies) to you:

Beautiful, right? Well she has so graciously offered to give away an item from her boutique, AfriqueLaChic. This gorgeous, hand made natural hair tie is made with super thick elastic, which means it's great for both locs and thick loose hair.

So here's how to win:

FOLLOW this blog and submit a photo of your favorite protective style for "Cool Weather Cuties" (a pictorial series I'm going to do during the fall/winter featuring naturals & permies). The pic can be of you rocking a protective style or an image of someone else. Send all submissions to toridblogs@gmail.com & type “AfriqueLaChic Giveaway” in the Subject line. Submissions for the contest will be accepted until 11:59 PM Sunday, October 17.

Want to increase your chances? Here are some additional steps you can take AFTER you send your submission:
1. tweet "I entered @kinxnquirx's AfriqueLaChic Giveaway! http://thegoodhairdiaries.blogspot.com"
2. Blog about this giveaway and link back to this page – Leave a comment or email me or tweet me your post’s permalink
3. Refer a friend to TGHD –When your friend FOLLOWS leave a comment with their name.

A first place winner will be chosen at random and notified by email by October 20.
There will also be a 2nd place winner, also notified by October 20, who will receive a jewelry grab bag (note: jewelry will not be AfriqueLaChic).
So what are you waiting for? Get those pix to me & spread the word!

Mini-rant

2010-09-29T14:28:00.000-07:00

I've got a secret, y'all. Lean in close so no one else can hear.

Sometimes I get tired of the attention my hair brings.

There, I said it. Although I am still in luh with my hair, I've got to admit that I sometimes tire of it's "novelty." I occasionally don't feel like answering questions about my routine, or explaining why I went natural, or listening to someone go on about why they can't/want to do it. I hate people asking me questions like I've become the natural hair guru just because I'm one of only a handful of people they know rocking the hair God gave em. The hands in my hair irk me as well. Sometimes I wish I wasn't now referred to as "the one with the fro" and just ~~"the sexy chocolaty thick goodness"~~ Tori. Oddly, my hair has become yet another way of being "othered."

Yes, I am aware of the irony that I'm complaining about the attention to my hair on a blog I created to discuss my hair. And to that I say, so what. My blog, my rant. -_-

Tori D. needs YOUR help!

2010-09-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

This semester is already shaping up to be pretty rough. Since I want to make it out of grad school with a decent GPA & my sanity in tact, I won't be able to update TGHD like I should. I have a few interviews in the works, as well as a giveaway, but I don't have the time to focus on work, school, my sorority obligations and my blogs.

So what do I need from my wonderful readers? I need help! If you want to share your transition story (or know someone who does), have a product that you want to rave or rant about, give a product recipe or just feature pix of you rocking your 'do (natural or relaxed, since I did say this blog would be geared towards both) email them to me at toridblogs@gmail.com.

I will still be posting, just a bit more sporadically than before (bet you didn't think that was possible, huh?). You all can help keep my little blog alive during the down time. And after December, if everything goes well, we'll be back to our regular schedule.

Thanks in advance, y'all!

Naturals In Advertising

2010-09-18T20:17:00.000-07:00

Natural hair mentioned in the latest Above the Influence ad

"I Do Me" Video (boo to not having a code to embed it!): http://www.abovetheinfluence.com/the-ads/

Vegetable Glycerin: My new fav

2010-09-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

For a while now I've been hearing/reading the term "vegetable glycerin" from various naturals. I didn't know anything about it, so I turned to the net to see what I could find. In the blogosphere I found a post on The Natural Haven that explained what glycerin is and how it works. In short:

1. It is hygroscopic - meaning it bonds to and retains water. (Hygro meaning 'moisture' and scopic in this case meaning 'seeking' - therefore moisture seeking) (Griffin, W. C. et al Journal of the Society of Cosmetic Scientists, 1952)

2. It is a humectant (because of no 1) and therefore can be used to stabilise the water/moisture content in products (perhaps as in KY) (Journal of the Society of Cosmetic Scientists,pg 19, 1958)

3. It makes hair softer (Journal of the Society of Cosmetic Scientists pg 251-263 1989)

Sounds pretty good right? So I made my way over to Rainbow Grocery for the first time ever (if you're in the Metro Jackson area, go over to Fondren and check it out) and got a couple ounces of VG. It's colorless, odorless, sticky, and sweet (so I've read, I haven't tasted it and don't plan to). It's advised to mix it with water, as just plan VG (or too much in the mix) isn't particularly good for your hair. I added it to my usual concoction of water & coconut oil. (2:1:1, water, coconut oil & VG). It works great! I usually spritz my hair with the mix every other night before bed. My hair is softer, so that I don't even have to use a product in it unless I want to. My curls also seem to pop a little more, which is always great.

I'm thinking about getting some rosemary & jojoba oils to mix with the water & VG. I can't remember where I got this from, but I do recall reading that these two oils stimulate hair growth when combined and work great with VG. We'll see.

Have any of you used VG in a different mix? Had a bad experience with it? Found a great product that you can buy with VG as the main ingredient? Let us know!

Cold Weather Cometh!

2010-09-08T08:03:00.000-07:00

from "LFRENCHE"'s photobucket

Are you excited? I am! I love the fall and winter months. They are the big girls' time to shine! (Seriously y'all, my coat game is ridiculous and is about to get amped up even more... just sayin'.) But while I am happy about sweater weather rolling around, I'm a little nervous because I have to say goodbye to my natural hair stand-by: the wash and go. So while I look for new boots, I have to look for a new style as well... I'm thinking about keeping my hair in a protective style for most of the next few months. I really want flat twists going to the just below the crown of my head with the ends in a bun/knot--something similar to the picture to the right--so that I can put pieces on (I haven't worn my bun or ponytail in forever). Or I'd take flat twists going straight back into a bun/ponytail--similar to the pictures below--but I'd have to have extensions for that since my hair isn't that long.

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pix from blackhair.about.com

Either way, I figure I could keep that for maybe 3-4 weeks, washing my scalp with cheesecloth (isn't that what's recommended for those with locs?) and daily conditioning. Then for about a week I'd wear it in a blow out. This should be the best time for it, as the humidity won't be an issue. Plus I'll have several months of growth to do a length check!

I'd really like to get some kinky twists at some point, but I don't have the patience to sit there that long! I'd get to fidgeting around the hour mark (on a good day) and my hair never would be finished. I need patience, and so does whoever gets stuck with the task of doing my twists. LOL

Oooh, and I need hats, I think. Even though I barely wear them, I think I want them. I especially like the crochet-looking things that aren't really hats; you just kinda tuck your hair into them... Do you know what I'm talking about? If so, help me out! Y'all know I'm terrible with descriptions, especially when talking about something I only have a vague idea about.

What are your plans for your hair now that the season is changing? Does your routine stay consistent through the year, or do you have separate warm weather/cool weather regimens?

It's September?!

2010-09-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

So that means two things:
1) it's been three months since the Big Chop--Yay me!
2) the 31BNB Challenge is over, meaning I missed almost half the challenges. Booo Tori, booo.

I'm sorry y'all, I know I suck! Somewhere around the middle of the month my ADD kicked in something serious & I just couldn't focus. But I will be going back to cover the days that I missed once I create a schedule for my blog (see, I learned something!) And I'll still be visiting the blogs of other 31BNB participants. There are really some great blogs out there, and I'm really glad to have discovered them via this challenge! Rosetta at www.bloggingforbranding.com is awesome for this; a big thank you to her! Although I didn't stay on track, this has helped me to become a better blogger. (At least, I think so. If not, let me know & bring me back to earth!)

A Few of My Favorite Things (and some new products)

2010-09-02T08:24:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling kinda Oprah-ish today (okay, not really, but it sounded good) so I want to share some of my favorite things with y'all. The inspiration for this post was my impromptu trip to Target on Sunday. Of course I wandered over to the health & beauty section and ended up finding something I've been looking for for a while (and got some new finds... more on that later). So I got to thinking about how much I love certain products/items for my hair & decided to let you in on them.

I love these Goody bobby slides. They hold more hair than a regular bobby pin, and don't pull my hair out when I remove them. I bought some years ago but somehow managed to lose most of them. Now they are available in the color collection: blond (not pictured since they were out), brunette, & black. I am happy that I got my hands on these again, although I would have loved to find some straight up silver slides. My one complaint: Goody didn't use paint that would stand up to hair & hair products! After wearing one for half a day yesterday, the paint is already peeling. I experienced this before, though, so I knew what I was getting myself into. At least this time around the paint is black instead of light pink like last time... :-/ Anyway, a set of six will cost you about $3.49 at Target.

What are these, you ask? Cloth belts, the kind that come with tops from places like New York & Company. Now if you didn't know, these belts are the big girl's natural enemy. Here I am trying to find ways to minimize my tummy, and this belt comes along drawing attention to it! Hmph! These belts from old tops almost took a trip to the dump, but I realized they could serve another purpose: headbands. Yup, I use these babies as cute little headbands, especially when wearing a puff. It's a simple little way to add a bit of color, and I don't have to pay for new headbands, so yay! Ghetto? I guess. Cheap? You bet!

Although I'm just seriously getting into eyeshadow, I tend to get a ton of compliments when I use these eyeshadow palettes. As much as I love MAC eye shadows, $14 a pot is a bit pricey for me. Plus I have to sit there and figure out what colors to pair and I really suck at that. But for $4-$6 (depending on where I'm shopping) I can get Maybelline's Expert Wear Eyeshadow Quads or Rimmel's Colour Rush Trio Eyeshadow. (IDK why Rimmel's site only shows eight shades. The one in my hand is Dark Angel.) They have great pigmentation and last all day. Plus the Maybelline shadows have a little diagram on the back for slow folks like me who don't know where to apply what... LOL

I got this super wide-tooth comb in a pack of like six combs for $2 at Big Lots years & years ago. Never had much use for it until I went natural. Unfortunately, I forgot about this comb until after I bought another comb, but hands down, this one is my fav! It gets rid of tangles like it's nothing. Unfortunately, I have no idea what brand it is, where you can find it, anything. Sorry.

This photo combines old and new. On the left is Sally Hansen Xtreme Wear in Gunmetal. The right is Milani in Wild Violet. I picked it up at Target on Sunday (for $.99!) because I needed a purple polish. It wasn't quite the shade I was looking for, but it was cute so I figured what the heck. I got it on & loved it! Since I'm really feeling purple and gray/silver right now, I had to do both. The result:

I love it! In person, the purple is more of a metallic plum color :)

The only things I planned to buy were the bobby slides, but then I thought about the fact that I was out of leave-in conditioner, so I wandered up & down the isles looking for something new to try. I came across Shea Moisture Organic Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Style Milk. I'd never heard of the Shea Moisture brand, but at $8.99, why not? My aunt told me that my cousin had been using Carol's Daughter Hair Milk and that she liked it, so I figured I'd try this. (Yes, I know it's not the same thing, but milk is milk is milk, right? IDK) So I've been using it since Sunday and I am in love! I usually mist my hair with the water/coconut oil mix, then apply the hair milk. It has my hair feeling sooo soft! It doesn't dry out & get all stiff/crunchy feeling, but it's not oily. It gives my curls some nice definition, even in the spots that appear to be type 4b/c. Plus I get a nice natural looking shin and it smells great. Now I want to give some of their other products a try! And I will, once I run out of my current products. I'm trying to avoid becoming a product junkie! According to the Shea Moisture website, their hair care collection is only available through Target.

I also picked up the Twisted Sista Curl Activator by Urban Therapy. I realize now that I really could've done without this, seeing as how the hair milk says CURL & Style Milk right on the label... But whatever, I have it now. I must say, I could've done without this one. It doesn't do much as far as defining curls, and I find that my hair is a little stiffer than I'd like. Not a terrible product, but I don't think it's right for me. It was only $4.99 at Target, so I don't feel like it's too big of a loss.

So there you have it, a few of my favorite (hair) things... plus one not so favorite thing! Feel free to share yours!

PIX! (Because I don't feel like writing)

2010-08-25T19:23:00.000-07:00

I am super lazy today. And since I'm already having to exert energy I don't have on a paper for class Monday (yes, a paper already), I figured I'd just hit y'all with a bunch of pix. Wanna see 'em? Here they go:

twist-out from the beginning of the month

Result of a braid-out. My hair was super soft and big that day!

I realized that Miss Jessie's I bought works best for me when I do my puff.

I did a roller set about two weeks ago. I didn't care for how poofy it was...

but i think i should've just pinned both sides because I love this.

roller set: side view

roller set: back

after I played around in/picked out my roller set

twist-out. really i wanted to show off my freshly waxed brows (my first time!) & makeup attempt

2nd day twist outs are the best! (i know it's blurry, but the hair still looks great so...)

A Natural Newbie How-To Guide

2010-08-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I'm natural... Now what?!

This post is a collaboration of two 31BNB challenges: Day 9 & 19.

Previously, I mentioned that I had no idea what I would write a how-to on because I am just learning "how to" myself when it comes to hair. In the comments I got a suggestion from Kimberlee Stiens:

Maybe you could write a how-to about newbie natural mistakes to avoid? Or products that are terrible? Or maybe dealing with reactions from friends/loved ones?

http://businessforgoodnotevil.blogspot.com/

So here I am fulfilling the day 19 challenge (Turn a comment into a blog post) and going back to day 9 to do a how-to.This is a how-to on avoiding (most) natural newbie mistakes. Of course, with everything that you start new, you are bound to make some mistakes. My mistake so far ~~besides doing the BC while tipsy~~ has been slacking in the moisturizing/conditioning department. But the thing is, you want to avoid as many mistakes as possible, especially those that can be damaging long-term. After all, the reason that most folks go natural is because they want healthy hair. So let's see what we can do to avoid being counterproductive to that!

1. Don't expect your hair to do the same things it did when it was relaxed.
I'm used to having long tresses that did exactly what I wanted it to do. Since going natural, my hair rebels and does it's own thing. And I'm learning that it's okay! Don't look for your hair to do the same things it did when permed (or even while transitioning), or to react the same way to products you once used. Sure, they may still work the same and have the same effect, but be aware of the possibility that they may not.

2. Do your homework.
Thanks to the "interwebs" there is a wealth of knowledge out there. From styling to the science behind your hair, there are articles, blogs, YouTube videos, books, you name it! Empower yourself with knowledge. A word of caution, though: not everyone knows what they are talking about, and it seems like everyone on the web considers themselves an expert. Do your due diligence to find out what's legitimate and works for you.

3. Know your limits.
Some things are better left to the professionals. As bad as I want some color in my hair right now, I'm not trying to do it myself because I know that I don't know what I'm doing. And I'm going to a salon tomorrow to get my ends trimmed because I don't have the tools or knowledge to do it properly. What I'm saying is, know what you can & can't do. Sure, you should learn your hair and how to take care of it. Know your limits, that's all I'm saying.

4. Figure out your hair type and what works well for it.
More than likely you'll have a couple different types of hair on your head, so you'll have to learn to make things work for each type. This is another area where it may be beneficial to consult a professional (if they know anything about natural hair--many don't). How do you determine the type of hair you have? The most common method is one popularized by Oprah's stylist Andre. It categorizes hair into type I-IV and then further into a,b, or c. I really like this page at curlz.biz that explains the various hair types.
There is also the LOIS hair system.

So that's my little how-to guide on avoiding natural (hair) disaster as a newbie. Any other tips or advice, feel free to comment!

Naturals in Advertising (31BNB, Day 17)

2010-08-19T08:42:00.000-07:00

You know what amazes me? Even before I knew of the "natural movement" or knew anyone personally who had natural hair, I saw incredible images of black women rocking their natural hair. Where? In ads! Whether print, television, or online, natural hair seems like it's more accepted than relaxed hair (at least, from the images shown). Of course, most of the women in these ads have the kinda corkscrew coils that most see as favorable... but still, natural is natural.

So from time to time I want to share images/video of women rocking natural hair in advertisement. Let's see just how much I can find... We may not even realize how often we see naturalistas doing their thing!

on Regions Bank's website today

Lane Bryant model

on clorox.com

31BNB: Days 12-15

2010-08-17T07:37:00.000-07:00

As you may or may not know from my sporadic posts, I am participating in bloggingforbranding.com's 31 Days to a Brand New Blog Challenge. Once again, I am playing catch up. (Days 16 & 17 coming later today or tomorrow with 18)

Day 12: Get Business Cards for your Blog
I considered this a while back, but never followed through on it. I came up with a really cute design, though. Two, actually (one for this blog and one for The Eclectic) but I'll probably only get the cards for this site. My soror/naturalista/fellow blogger L. Michelle from My Hair...Is Me mentioned that she hands her cards out when people ask about her hair or when she meets other people with natural hair. Shoot, a business card would've been handy when I met the next person I'll be featuring. (Interview coming soon, I promise!) Sooo yeah, I'll be getting that taken care of.

Day 13: Promote Your Blog on Twitter
Finally ahead of the curve on something! I promote two of my personal blogs on my "personal" twitter account, and my business blog on my "professional" account. (One of my blogs is semi-anonymous so people just happen to stumble across it...)

Day 14: Add/Remove Widgets
I don't know how! Okay, I take that back, I know how. But my blogroll has turned into a monster, so I'm trying to figure out how to arrange that... Some other things will probably get the boot as well, so this little site will look a bit different. And it won't be long!

Day 15: Assess Your Blog's Progress
7 posts since August 1 (not counting this one).
8 comments (not counting my own)
71 visitors.
Not sure of the exact numbers of new subscribers (I want to say 4?), but I do know that it has gone up. (BTW: hello and thanks for following! Feel free to comment, follow me on twitter, or drop me an email!)
When comparing this blog with the ones that I am not doing the 31BNB for, I can tell a difference in the bounce rate, time on the site, page visits... Basically, people are reading this blog as opposed to scanning the others. I don't know if it's because others who are a part of this challenge are visiting or because this blog is more focused while the other personal blog is as random as I am. The business blog is hard for me to get going, I admit, so I'm not too surprised that it has the highest bounce rate. Overall, I'm pretty happy with the progress so far. I don't have Google Analytics info to compare last month, but I know I wasn't getting this much traffic and comments from readers. Hopefully it will keep up even after 31BNB!

The grass always looks greener....

2010-08-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

Seems like no matter what you're born with, you always want other features.

Many (not all, of course) dark skinned women wish for "fairer" skin, sometimes even resorting to deadly methods to get it.
Meanwhile, our white counterparts risk skin cancer to be darker.
People pay big money to get the full lips and hips and booty, while I'm sure many of us at some point wanted to trade it all after some form of ridicule.

We straighten our hair in attempts to look more "mainstream."
Then others do this:

The grass always looks greener on the other side, eh?

Thanks to KinkyCurlyQueen on Naturally Obsessed for posting this. I'd never heard of/seen "afro perms" before.

Unlikely Inspiration

2010-08-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

I've been carrying these pictures in my phone since January and haven't posted them yet!

The last time (or time before last) I went to the salon, I was sitting under the dryer thumbing through a magazine. I think it was American Salon or something like that... I dunno. Anyway, as I was going through, there was a series of photos that caught my eye. These two were the most stunning:

I love these looks! From what I can remember (and my memory is a bit hazy... after all, this was seven months ago) the style is basically a very high ponytail that has been combed/brushed forward, then tucked & pinned under. The second pic is a variation of the same style, with the ponytail veering slightly to the side to give it a more angular look.

As soon as I saw this, I envisioned myself with this hairstyle--with poofy natural hair, of course. I think the texture and thickness of my hair would take this to the next level! Although I like the hair in the pictures, I think it looks a little too flat. A bit more volume, some banging earrings, & some smokey eyes... Mississippi couldn't handle me! LOL

Unfortunately I'll have to wait a while (years maybe? OMG Imma cry) until my hair is long enough for this. But if any readers or other natural bloggers try this style out, please send pix! I'd love to show off how this already gorgeous style looks once you put that natural twist to it!

31BNB: OMG WHAT DAY IS THIS?! (Day 7-11)

2010-08-11T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am playing maaaaajor catch up today. I have posts in draft on every single one of my blogs (I have four blogs, total). So today I will (briefly) try to cover the challenges that I've missed... I envy and admire those of you who are participating in 31BNB and actually doing all the challenges the day of. One day I aspire to be that focused and committed ~~to something that doesn't involve a check~~!

Day 7: Self Host Your Blog
This is something that I have thought about, but for now it's still on the back burner. Right now I'm not serious enough or consistent enough for that. Plus, with the 1001 other things I'm trying to do, every penny has to be accounted for and time is a precious commodity that I just don't have enough of. (I swear, y'all get 24 hours, but I'm getting shorted like 5 hours in my day.) Anyway, once I get some room to breathe (December maybe, after I become Tori D., MBA?) this will be on the agenda. More than likely, it will involve combining my three personal blogs, getting someone to do a hot lil design/theme for me... it'll be great! If you have more immediate plans for hosting your own blog, check this bloggingforbranding.com post and video tutorial on how to do just that.

Day 8: Tweak Your Blog's Theme
Unfortunately I have to wait until I get home to do this. My work computer won't let TGHD be great! But I have an idea already in mind ^_^

Day 9: Write a How-To Post
I'm gonna have to come back to this one. I've been thinking about this since the 9th. My issue is that I really don't know how to do much of anything hair-wise! After all, this blog is not coming from a hair expert or someone who has been natural for a long time. This is a "watch the newbie" type thing. What could I say that would actually be beneficial to someone that hasn't already been posted all over the beloved interwebs?
But I'll come up with something...

Day 10: Respond to Comments
I think I'm pretty good about this (usually) but I haven't even looked at this blog since the end of last week so.... yeah, I'll get on that.

Day 11: Add a Contact Page
Darn, I started to do this the other day when I did the About page! I would've felt so far ahead of the game LOL Dah well, it's going up in a few minutes. And I expect to be contacted! Hmph!

So now I'm kinda sorta caught up..... Okay not really, I still have work to do. But know that I am getting on it!

31BNB Challenge: Day 5 & 6

2010-08-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

~~Today's~~ Yesterday's challenge was to comment on three blogs that I've never commented on before. I took it one baby step further and decided to comment on three blogs I've never even read before. I checked out bloggingforbranding.com's list of bloggers that participated in the day 4 challenge and picked the following three:

5 Steps to Begin Your Nonprofit Career: chosen because I eventually plan on having two non-profits within the next 5- 10 years (maybe I've mentioned this on The Eclectic, I'm not sure). In this post Madelyn outlines five valuable steps to kick start that. My Nonprofit Experience will definitely be a blog that I frequent, especially as the time draws closer for me to put my plan into action.
3 Reasons Why I Can't Be Your Shrink: I knew from the title that this was going to be a fun post, and it was! And oddly, I could relate to it...
Lola Gets a Life: A List Post: Miss Lola lists her favorite things in her post, and I have to co-sign on a lot of it! Added bonus: she has beautiful natural hair! She makes mention of the Jane Carter Solution. I've never heard of that product line, but she's used the styling products. If any of you know about it/have tried it, let me know!

So there you have it! If nothing else, this 31BNB challenge has exposed me to some awesome bloggers... My blogroll is looking real fat right about now!

*I linked the blogs that I commented on & am now following as my activity for Day 6. Look at me working smarter, not harder! Now I'm all caught up!*

It's not just the hair! (#31BNB Challenge: Day 4)

2010-08-06T09:53:00.000-07:00

day 3's challenge is the new about page... I never know what to say when talking about myself....

It's amazing that something as "trivial" as hair can bring about changes in other areas of life. No, I'm not saying my whole world has changed and I'm a brand new person after getting rid of the perm! But small changes here and there... Here are a few of the things that I've noticed are evolving along with my look.

1. PATIENCE: You cannot rush natural hair! Sometimes, like last night, I can spend 35 minutes just detangling my hair. It's tedious; it's time consuming. However, taking care of each section and making sure it's done right is well worth it. I'm learning (ever so slowly) to take my time with some things. Not everything has to be rushed. Some have to take a while to do right and to truly enjoy.

2. SELF ASSURANCE: Even though I've gotten a lot of positive comments from others regarding my new look, I still get hit with negativity and criticism. If I wasn't confident in what I'm doing, why I'm doing it and who I am, some of those comments could make me falter. In learning to defend my decision and advocate natural hair to those who think they "can't do it," I feel a little more confident when talking about other ideas and decisions that may be met with adversity.

3. MY PERSONAL STYLE: I often used my long straight hair as my sole accessory. Earrings were a maybe; necklaces were almost never even considered. Now that I'm rocking short tresses, I'm becoming a little more experimental with my jewelry as well as my makeup. Not only that, but I'm trying to take more risks as far as clothing is concerned. I'm not trying to be disingenuous to who I am and my style, but why relegate myself to the "safe" colors and styles that I have? Especially when I see cute outfits on others or put pieces together in my mind and think "I could rock that." I'm already going against the grain here with the natural hair. What's to stop me from playing with everything else a little more?

4. APPROACHABILITY: Okay, I don't know if that's quite the word I'm looking for, but it'll have to do for now. These days, I get a lot of opening lines about my hair, from men and women alike. Now that's not so new, because that happened pretty often before. However, where I used to just say "Thanks" and keep moving, I'm now eager to discuss my hair regimen, style ideas, why I went natural, etc. And I'm more apt to approach another natural haired lady to pay her compliments, ask what she does to it/uses on it, whatever. And yeah, we're just talking about hair, but it's not just the hair! That intro could lead/has lead to various networking opportunities to use to my benefit socially, professional, etc.

So, have you recognized any changes that sort of corresponded to your natural hair journey?

Pix: The Puff!

2010-08-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I was seriously serving up some fierceness last night! I was headed to revival and for some reason the fro just wasn't looking right. I remembered a style that I did when I first started transitioning, and a lightbulb went off in my head. What I had was basically a relaxed poof! (Sounds like a contradiction, I know.) So I pulled my hair back, stuck what seemed like a hundred bobby pins in my hair to form a sort of crown, then doubled up my elastic headband to hold it taut. I was so pleased with the results!

And if you're wondering: yes, I was in the church foyer snapping pix. That's me, all day boo. I takes pix anywhere son! #thuglife LOL

*Dress & necklace: Lane Bryant

31 BNB Challenge: Day 2

2010-08-02T06:58:00.001-07:00

*I'm participating in Bloggingforbranding.com's 31 Days to a Brand New Blog Challenge, so for the month of August I'll be posting these in addition to my regular hair posts. Hopefully this will help me improve as a blogger and a writer. We will see!*

Yes, I know I don't have a Day 1 post. Unfortunately I didn't have Google Analytics set up until last night, so I couldn't really tell anything about the traffic that this site sees. Maybe I'll loop back around to that near the end of the month. Anyway, on to today's challenge:

Purpose Statement for The Good Hair Diaries

This blog is meant to be a tool to share not only what I learn about natural hair, but about myself on my natural hair journey. I want to discuss attitudes towards African Americans with natural hair and regimens, products & styles that do & don't work for me. I'd like to encourage discussion concerning beauty in America and Black America, with the occasional diversion for makeup or rants... I would most like this blog to be known as a place for other black women who are transitioning or who have recently transitioned to natural hair to network, share stories, encouragement, advice, etc. without fear of judgment or ridicule.

A weight has been lifted...

2010-07-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

LITERALLY!

Okay, I know I just posted that I'd gotten a sew-in. Shoot, I just got it a week ago! But already, like so many meals & men (wait, what?), the weave is gone...

I was going to try to stick it out for at least three weeks, but I couldn't deal! My scalp had been itching non-stop since last Friday. I also noticed that just behind my left ear, I had a little swollen knot from where the braid was really tight. But I thought I could stick it out. Fast forward to yesterday. Itching like crazy again. I go to scratch and notice a bump. Do a little more feeling around and find bumps all along my hairline! Bad business! That's neither cute nor healthy. Out of fear that keeping the sew-in would do more damage than good, I had to take it out. After getting all the tracks out and taking the braids down, I discovered more bumps, especially in those places where the itching was the worst. I tried to do damage control by DCing overnight. This morning I tried some of the We Rock Roots RockTherapy Oil from my last product review. So far, the itching has been kept to a minimum. (For those wondering why I didn't use that before: the way that my hair was braided under the tracks, it was hard/impossible to get to some parts of my scalp.)

Unfortunately I noticed that the hair that was left out up top to cover up the tracks did not revert back to their usual springy curls. Instead, the curls are just kinda limp & lifeless. I hope I haven't messed them up for good!

Anyway, I've learned my lesson. If I just gotta have something different or want to wear straight hair, a wig is probably my best bet. Of course, it's a no-go during the summer... Maybe I'll try it once it cools off. But now I'm scared to even straighten my hair for a length check. :( Fingers crossed that my hair bounces back!

My 1st weave...

2010-07-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

July 24, 2009 was the last time I got a touch up!

July 23, 2010, I got my first weave. It wasn't really my idea; it stemmed from a long heated argument with my father over my hair not being "professional" (*cough*bullshit*cough*) and getting this sew-in was my move to shut him up.


No, I was NOT a happy camper.

It does look pretty good (except when the humidity gets to my hair) so that's not my issue. I've just gotten used to having short, almost care-free hair. The fuss of long straight hair... this is what I was trying to get away from a year ago! Ugh...

Anyway, I'm a little more comfortable with it, but I don't think it's gonna last too long. For one, it itches like crazy and even though I've oiled my scalp the best I could, I'm getting no relief! Secondly, there's one braid in the back that is just way too tight; the scalp is actually swollen there. (Praying traction alopecia can't happen from a one-time occurrence.) Finally, it's hot and heavy. I like things hot and heavy, but my hair ain't one of them! LOL

So I know this won't be up the two or three months I was told it could last. Shoot, I'd do good to leave it up for one. I know sew-ins are supposed to be a great protective style, but I don't think they're for me!

Product Review: Miss Jessie's Stretch Silkening Creme & the We Rock Roots Line

2010-07-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

About two weeks ago I made my way to Target and picked up my first ever Miss Jessie's product. The selection at the store I went to was pretty slim, so I ended up with the Stretch Silkening Creme. I was not happy about shelling out $22 for the 8 oz. jar, but I'd heard so many good things about Miss Jessie's that surely it would be worth it, right?
Well, not quite.
Here are the directions from the Miss Jessie's site:

Apply product while hair is soaking wet for full coverage based on your length and density. Do not rinse out. Air dry or dry under an overhead dryer. For maximum stretch silkening: After curls are fully dried grab a section and stretch downward for tension. Using a blowdryer with a nozzle attachment blast heat from root to midshaft. This will further stretch those kinks to curls. Enjoy!

I did like the definition Miss Jessie's gave my curls

So I applied it with my hair soaking wet. While it definitely held true to it's claims that it would not make hair feel dry or crunchy, I wasn't expecting it to keep it feeling and looking wet. For most of the day I looked like I had a jheri curl. No bueno. On top of that, it didn't actually stretch my curls. (I didn't have time to use the blowdryer, so maybe that extra action would've given me the results I was looking for.) After that, I decided to try it with my hair lightly misted (my simple mix of distilled water and pure unrefined coconut oil). I was a bit more pleased with those results. The Miss Jessie's still didn't stretch my curls, but they did define them and gave my hair a nice shine.
My final verdict? While the Stretch Silkening Creme is a decent product, it's not something I'll be buying/using regularly. And I'm not so sure if I'll be buying any other MJ's products; I feel like I fell victim to the hype. I dunno, maybe I'll try the little $2.00 packets of shampoo and conditioner, just to see if it gives me different results than my current products. I'm not expecting miracles this time around, though. (In retrospect, it may have worked better if my hair was longer. I've seen pictures of some of the people who rave over MJ's, and when the hair is about shoulder length, it seems to get pretty good results. Maybe I'll save this and try it again in a few months. *shrugs*)

A few days after buying the Miss Jessie's, I received my We Rock Roots prize from the contest over at Kinky, Curly, Coily Me! Included in the prize pack were samples of the following:

RockOUT Butter – Uses: To set twists, coils, braids, or curls when setting on rollers and lock maintenance.

Ingredients: Aloe Butter (Aloe Vera with Coconut fraction) Unrefined Shea Butter, Pure Aloe Vera Gel, Vegetable Glycerin, Tea Tree Essential Oil, Fragrance

RockON Butter – Uses: Apply for daily moisture.

Ingredients: Unrefined Shea Butter, Soy Butter, Golden Jojoba Oil, Sweet Almond Oil, Vegetable Glycerin, Orange Essential Oil, Tea Tree Essential Oil

RockSTAR Oil –Uses: Apply as needed for added shine and moisture

Ingredients: Sweet Almond Oil, Unrefined Shea butter, Golden Jojoba Oil, Flax Seed Oil, Fragrance

RockTHERAPY Oil – Uses: Apply daily for itchy or dry scalp.

Ingredients: Extra Virgin Olive Oil, Horsetail Herb, Amla Oil, Hemp Seed Oil, Golden Jojoba Oil, Peppermint Essential Oil, Tea Tree Essential Oil
(Uses and ingredients per JenellyBean on KCCM!)

I wasn't sure what to expect because I'd never heard of WRR, but I figure I'd give it a shot. It would be rude not to! And I have to say that I am soooo glad that I did! Here's a quick breakdown of how each product worked for me.
RockStar oil: It gave my hair a really good shine without being heavy like some oils I've tried before. It was slightly oily and wasn't absorbed into my hair, but that it wasn't a major detractor from my overall love of this product. Plus, it smells like cookies! (#fatgirltendencies lol)
RockOn butter: I loved the whipped light texture! It almost felt like it sorta fizzed when I touched it. RockOn gave me the most awesome curl definition and good healthy shine to boot.


Result of RockOn Butter & RockStar Oil. Sorry it's not clear, I should've used the digital camera!

RockTherapy oil: This was right on time for me. I have one particularly dry/itchy area near the crown of my head. One day after co-washing, I applied some of this oil to my scalp. It feels soothing (I'm assuming that was the peppermint at work) and calmed the itch. I'm not a fan of the scent but it's not overwhelming, and not an issue since it gets the job done!
RockOut butter: This was extremely light. In fact, I wasn't sure that it would work on my twists/twist-out because it was so light. My assumption was correct. When I took my twists down, it was as if they had no product on them at all. Depending on what you're looking for, this may not be a bad thing, but for my twists I like something a little heavier with a better hold, like my Cantu Shea Butter.
Three outta four ain't bad, huh? I've gotta say, WRR has found a loyal customer in me.

If you're interested in purchasing these products, you can find them at www.missjessies.com and www.wix.com/werockroots/werockroots.

Random Hair Gripe: Don't Touch My Hair!!

2010-07-20T12:43:00.000-07:00

At least, not without asking! And even if you ask, you may get a no.

I've always had issues with this and it bugs me to no end. When I was relaxed, people had to "get a good feel" to see if it was really mine. This included running fingers down to the scalp feeling for tracks, pulling, you name it. Now that I'm completely natural, it's like some kinda oddity and people want to mess with the curls. Makes me think of the episode of Family Guy where Stewie touches Cleveland's hair and exclaims, "Ooh, it feels like a sheep!"

I still haven't figured out how to politely say "Please don't touch it" before someone automatically reaches out to cop a feel. I feel so dirty, having my other special place groped like that in public! LOL Maybe I need this shirt...

I'm not quite this bad, I promise

I heart dreads

2010-07-15T21:21:00.000-07:00

I dunno when it happened, but I've recently realized that I've got a thing for fine men with dreads. And even if a guy is not so fine, I'll still be in awe over some nice, well-maintained locs. I do remember the first guy I found attractive with dreads. His name was Thomas (I think...) and he was a graphic designer at my first "real" job. He was sexy even when he cut his dreads, but he had the nicest, neatest locs ever. Just the right thickness, and somehow he kept a lil sheen on 'em. He was dreamy.

Anyway, my new friend has gorgeous locs as well, and although he's handsome anyway, I'd be lying if I didn't say his hair is what first got my attention (quickly followed by his smile & his singing). Since he was acting shy and wouldn't take a picture for the blog, I got a bunch of pix from different sites of hot guys with dreads. And yeah, most of them are hot & half naked, thanks to hotchocolatefinder.com. (What can I say? They had the majority of Google pix that came up!)

Good look, guys. Very good look. Two thumbs up! ^_^

"Hey, that's my face!"

2010-07-07T11:52:00.000-07:00

This has been a good week in the world of Tori D.

Four-day work week? Check!

Winning the We Rock Roots giveaway? Check!!

Being featured somewhere other than my imagination?! Check!!!

This was me when I logged on to Facebook and saw that JenellyBean featured my puff on Kinky Curly Coily Me! And yes, I did literally say "Hey, that's my face!" LOL

You like me, you really like me! ^_^

Be sure to check out her blog. She has some gorgeous styles that I'll work up the courage to try (or better yet, get someone to do for me!), gives product reviews and great advice (she schooled me on my puff, I didn't know what to call it LOL), and features other naturalistas.

PLUS, she'll be walking down the isle soon, so give her some love & well wishes!

Review: Thank God I'm Natural

2010-07-05T20:51:00.000-07:00

I've been reading Chris-Tia Donaldson's book Thank God I'm Natural since, like... February. No, I'm not slow! It's just that the ADD kicks in overtime when it comes to reading. I'm currently reading four books--this one included--along with reading books/articles for work and class. Needless to say this is pretty inefficient, but I eventually finish them. I'm wrapping up this book now, so here are the things I did and didn't like about the book.

Since my "didn't like" is pretty short, I'll start with that first. This book seemed to rely heavily on the "Evil relaxers" theme. Not only did she make it seem like it was impossible to have healthy permed hair, but she even makes a REACHING assumption that because relaxers are "addictive" like cigarettes, they could cause cancer. Ummmm, what? There is no research supporting this (which she does admit) but I'm thinking why even bring that up when there is absolutely nothing to back up that statement? Plus, Skittles are addictive (to me, at least). Does that mean I'm gonna end up with cancer because I like to taste the rainbow regularly? According to Donaldson's logic, yeah. The scare tactics really turned me off of this book for a while, because I was not looking for a diatribe about how terrible relaxers are and that I didn't love myself when I had one. Been down that road, not interested in a walk down memory lane.
But I can kinda see where she was coming from, in a marketing sense. To make natural hair look better, you have to make perms seem awful. (OF course, this could have just been done by extolling the benefits of natural hair, but hey...) It would be like Jenny Craig saying "Hey, buy my food! My food makes you lose weight! Don't eat regular food if you wanna be healthy... Although you could lose weight and maintain good health by monitoring your portions of whatever you eat and getting regular exorcise." No, they can't say that! They have to say "Buy Jenny Craig!" Much in the same fashion, Donaldson presents natural hair as the only way to have beautiful, healthy hair.

However, there were some great things in this book. I don't want to give away anything, so I'll just briefly say something about the chapters I enjoyed most.

Chapter 3: A Brush With History
Chapter 4: Anatomy 101 & Chapter 5: Type & Texture (I learned a lot that I didn't know in regards to hair growth, the composition of hair, and types of hair. Very informative for a natural hair newbie like me.)
Chapter 15: In the Kitchen (This chapter has a lot of recipes for making your own shampoos, conditioners and rinses. I have not tried any of them yet but I'm anxious to do so!)

There is also great information about what ingredients to look for and what to avoid, various styles natural/transition styles, tips for transitioners, locs if you decide to go that route, and coloring natural hair (something that I am planning to try soon).

Overall, I enjoyed this book. While I would not tout it as a "natural hair bible" like the reviews I read before I bought it, it did prove to be a valuable tool to me, both while I was transitioning and now.

If you are interested in ordering the book, you can go to Thank God I'm Natural or online retailers such as Amazon.com.

You rockin' a fro for the 4th?

2010-07-02T07:15:00.000-07:00

Will you be rocking a fro for the Fourth of July? I will! Hopefully I'll be able to make it act right =)
Anyway, the idea was first thought up over on The Long Hair Care Forum and many naturalistas will be taking part! Some are even printing out the logo (pictured above & created just for the occasion) to put on tshirts. I love it and I'm gonna try to do the same! I'm thinking either a tiffany blue or pink shirt to go with the brown... Dunno if it would really *POP* on black... White maybe?

ANYWAY, here are the two blogs I got my info from. One even has instructions which I definitely need!

My Hair.....Is Me: Afro Independence Day 2010
Her Best Hair: Preparing for Afro Independence Day

What are your go-to products? (Plus a Product Give-away!)

2010-07-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

When I first started transitioning and reading about natural hair, the term product junkie jumped out at me. It seemed inevitable that I would go through product after product trying to find the perfect shampoo, perfect conditioner, perfect whobobbitz to do this, that and the other to my hair.

Fortunately, that has not been the case. From the time I decided to take charge of my own hair care (remember the horror story that prompted that?) my arsenal of products has been relatively small and consistent (though some changes need to be made). A good number of them are from the same line because they seem to work great for me. Of course I don't do a lot in the way of recommending different products because I'm still learning all of this stuff as well. So here is my disclaimer: While *most of* these products work well for me, I do not know how they will work for you. Look into product ingredients, speak with a professional if you feel the need, and make an informed decision! "Tori D. said..." will not hold up in a court of law! =D Also, please note that these products are not 100% natural. While I do try to look out for "cones," petroleum/petrolatum, and mineral oil, I'm not a stickler for everything being all natural.

The Good

1. Optimum Oil Therapy Recovery Shampoo: I love it! It gives a little bit of later but not too much (unless you go way overboard with it, as I have done on a couple occasions). It gives me a pretty good amount of slip, so I can easily run my fingers/comb through my hair after washing.

2. Optimum Oil Therapy Moisturizing Creme: This product is great for detangling! I often use it before washing my hair since I've learned that detangling is a must before the water hits it. I would love to use it every day, as it gives a ton of moisture, but I don't since I've noticed it takes a while for the white color to fade. Although it says it works as a heat protectant, I have not used it as such just yet. I will try it out and see how well it does.

3. Organic Root Stimulator Olive Oil Replenishing Pak (not shown) and Palmer's Coconut Milk Protein Pack: I use these together when deep conditioning. Usually I let it sit for about 30 minutes ~~or more since I'm usually trying to watch TV while doing my hair and lose track of time~~. I've noticed that my hair is a bit softer when I use them as opposed to just shampooing. Never used either of these for a co-wash so not sure how that would work. Also, I don't know if there are any real benefits to using them both at the same time, but I like the way it feels when I do so... *shrug*

The Bad (or just bad rap?)

Motions Leave-In Conditioner: I admit it, I may have dropped the ball on this one. I got this before I was into the whole "read the label" thing, so I didn't realize until last night that this product is chock full o' "cones." Now, I have read conflicting information as to whether or not silicones are bad for your hair, but I'm trying to stay clear of them. Plus, I'd love to find a leave-in conditioner that also works as a detangler. But honestly, I don't have any complaints about this particular product. If you're not picky about the cones, this may work for you.

The verdict is still out

1. Cantu Shea Butter: I really only use the shea butter when I'm doing the two strand twists. It works great for holding them in place, plus it gives the hair a little extra shine. Admittedly, I'm not that familiar with the benefits of shea butter. I don't have anything bad to say about it, but I don't know if it's something I'd keep in rotation.

2. Optimum Oil Therapy Scalp Quencher: I just started using this about a week ago. My scalp was getting a little dry so this was just a shot in the dark at finding a solution. So far... meh.

Honorable Mention

Tropical Traditions Virgin Coconut Oil: I did a post on my first experience with coconut oil, and not much has changed since then. I still use it mostly for my skin! However, I do occasionally use it in my hair, mostly to give it shine. The drawback is that instead of my hair absorbing the oil, it just kind of sits there, leaving my hair feeling greasy. No bueno. I'm considering trying TT's coconut oil that is specially formulated for hair. We'll see.

There are some products that I want to try because I've heard good things about them. Namely, Miss Jessie's, Carol's Daughter Hair Milk, and (to a lesser extent) Mizani's True Textures line. Plus there's the little voice in the back of my head saying, "Yeah, your hair is doing okay now... but what if it could be better?" And considering my most recent hair issues (shedding and tangling are a beast right now!), I probably do need to make some additions and/or adjustments to my product arsenal.

************************************

Now for what you really want: the give-away!

This is not my giveaway. It is being done by fellow blogger/naturalista JenellyBean at Kinky Curly Coily Me! to celebrate reaching the 100 follower mark. She is giving away samples of We Rock Roots products (click here for details). To enter, all you have to do is send a picture of you rocking your natural hair to KinkyCurlyCoilyMe@gmail.com. But hurry, the deadline is July 4. Yeah I know I gave it to you on short notice, but c'mon, all you're doing is taking a pic and emailing it! You know you have 681 pictures of yourself on your phone.... No? That's just me? Oh, okay then....

First Month 100% Natural, In Words & Pictures

2010-06-30T08:46:00.000-07:00

Has it been a month already? Wow!!

So far, so good! I've been getting a lot of positive feedback about the new look, and the supposed "guts" that it took to go natural. (More on that later) My biggest critics have been my parents (big surprise there), but even they have had to admit that they like some of the styles. The chunky twist out is a hit with them. I guess with that they can see that I didn't cut that much of my hair. (Side note: When my dad noticed that I cut my hair--a full WEEK after the BC--he said I looked like a boy. Ironically, the day after I did it, he was talking about how cute my hair was. *insert major side-eye here* ) My aunt/former stylist saw it and said it looked pretty good. And I've gotten comments from friends, coworkers and strangers on how cute it is and they could never do that. Usually I'm good at restraining myself from commenting. Inside I want to go into a diatribe about "You can do it if you want to. This is the hair God gave you! It's not that hard, just requires patience... yadda yadda yadda" but usually I just act like I don't hear it.

Anyway, on to the pictures! Surprisingly, I haven't taken that many pictures since cutting it. That's mainly because most of my previous pictures were taken at work. Now that I'm in a new area with horrible lighting and a lot more work to do, I don't get to pose for the camera as often. But I do have a few I haven't shared! Y'all already saw the slightly rough picture from the cruise, when I still had a little bit of permed ends. I've trimmed those (still need a professional trim though) and have pretty much perfected my wash & go.

plain old wash & go

chunky braid out

after i picked out my fro. didn't realize it would be as big as it was!

Today, 30 days in!

(I'll add more once I get to my digital camera)

So here are the things I'm dealing with now:

I still need a stylist. I know I've been doing this for a few months now, but it would be such a relief to have someone who has been taught about hair taking care of it.
Dryness. I'm searching for something that will help my hair retain moisture & a bit of shine without it being greasy. Because greasy is not cute at all.
more style options. I know I've talked about this previously, but now that my hair is even shorter, I'm at even more of a loss as to what to do with it.
Tangling & shedding (all the more reason for me to have a professional natural hair stylist)

There you have it! My first month au naturale!

"It's because of Erykah Badu's video."

2010-06-10T12:33:00.000-07:00

That was the reasoning that someone gave as to "why everyone is going natural now."

I shyt you not.

Now, there are several things wrong with this:

1. The only thing Ms. Badu kept on in that video was a do-rag. You couldn't even see her hair! So #logicFAIL

2. Not everyone is going natural, proved by the four chicks around me exclaiming that they could never do it in the conversation that included this absolutely absurd remark.

3. Just as with everything else, people have their own reasons for doing things. Some for healthy hair's sake, some for the pro-Black thing, some just cuz they like the look. Why try to lump everyone into a category?

What are some of the most laughable comments you've heard about natural black hair?

The BC Story

2010-06-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

Saturday, May 15 was my birthday and the day I'd planned on doing the big chop. I was a little hype (or trying to be), but mostly I was nervous. I still wasn't sure how I'd look with the super short hair and I wasn't excited and ready like I thought I should be. I read all these stories about people just being too frustrated to deal with two textures or feeling like it was just time. "You'll know" they say. Well I didn't know it that day so I didn't do it. "F it," I thought, "I'll stick with these twists & twist outs for a couple more months and decide what I'm gonna do once it's been a full year."

Well, I did not make it to July. I barely made it to June. On June 1 I woke up and my hair looked like absolute crap to me. Granted, it didn't look much different than it had the day before, but I was sick of it. The ends were just hanging there, all lifeless and boring. I decided that morning that I was not gonna deal with it another day. That kinda threw a little wrench in my plans, considering that I didn't want to cut my hair myself. Me + scissors + hair = bad business. (Or at least it seemed like it would. I've never before attempted to cut hair.) But I spent the day online looking at BC videos and searching forums to see how others had done it.

When I finally got home that night, I was a little buzzed but I was determined to go ahead as planned. (BTW, I would not recommend anyone try that!) After I washed my hair, I took the scissors & went to work! I'm mad cuz I ended up chopping off some of the new growth in the back :( Shoot, I couldn't see it! And there ended up being more permed ends left up front than I realized. I was in shock for a little while, and a few tears did drop. My hair had never been that short!

fresh off the chopping block. in shock & still a bit tipsy...

But anyway, I twisted it & then took it down the next morning....

AND I LOVED IT!!

I didn't have any idea that those kinda curls were hiding under there! I could not keep my hands out of my hair (and still have problems w/ that now). I didn't care for the pix I took from the front that day, as something about them seemed a little off... But here's a pic from a few days later and another from today!

I'll try to do a length check soon. I want to look into different heat protectants before I flat iron my hair to do it. But just from doing a little pulling, I think it's just a little above my shoulders. Not bad huh?

So now I'm trying to find another style I can do besides my little fro (woohoo that it's no longer a "faux-fro!"). Or at least some accessories!

Anyway, whaddaya think?

"A Transition Story!"

2010-05-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

Found this great site that lets you create comic strips/collages, so I figured I'd compile a little pictorial history of my transition so far. (Yeah it's a little vain, I know lol)

Who have you inspired?

2010-05-05T07:07:00.000-07:00

To go natural, that is...

I don't know of a single woman rocking natural hair that didn't transition due to the influence of another naturalista. (Clearly I'm not talking about those who never had a perm.) For me, it was Jill Scott and five of my line sisters. And of course there were all the ladies rocking hawt natural styles & posting pix on blogs. They all gave me the "that could be me!" feeling.

So now that you're natural or going natural, have you inspired anyone to make that change as well? So far I'ev got two! One of my classmates told me at the beginning of the semester that she was thinking about it and was going to try transitioning for a while to see how she liked it. Last week I came to class and she had a cute, fluffy TWA! And actually it's not so teeny-weeny. For just a few months, it's a pretty good size! Secondly, a lady at my church said that she wants to go natural as well. She plans to transition mostly by wearing braids. I'm happy for them!

So again, who have you inspired? And who inspired you?

(yup, short & sweet today. i'm supposed to be working! lol)

Pre BC Length Check

2010-04-23T11:42:00.000-07:00

So we are a little less than a month away from my BC. I figured I kinda needed to know where I was as far as length, so the other night after I washed it I took some pix. I'm sooo far from where I wanted to be at this point. :( See for yourself. But I'm gonna up my biotin game & hope & pray for the best.

Perm free by May 15th!

Close-up of the new growth while wet

This is what the front is looking like

A bit longer than it looks, huh?

But still not all that long...

Had to do pix of the "lazy twistout" that I did

STYLE DISASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

Yes, it was so bad I had to use my caps & an ungodly amount of exclamation points to explain it.

So Wednesday night I decided to try something different with my hair, since in my last post I lamented about being bored with my usual twists/twistouts. I wanted something a little funkier, a little edgier. I'm not sure of the name of the updo that I had in mind, but it was kinda like a double french roll all the way up to the crown of my head, with the front out in a spiral-y, sorta-kinda twist-out poof. (Sorry y'all, I know I'm horrible with descriptions!) The image in my head was very similar to the style that Janelle Monae often rocks.

What occurred on top of my head was not what I planned. It was not edgy. It was not funky. It was not cute. It definitely was not Tori D.

What, you expected a picture?!
I wasn't gonna photograph that travesty!

We (me & my mom) blow dried the back & pinned it up... sorta. For some reason she couldn't get the pins tight, so it felt like my hair was gonna come down at any minute. It took us forever to do that, and when we finally ~~said eff it and~~ quit I two strand twisted the front and rodded the twists up tight. Put the satin bonnet on and called it a night. The next morning I woke up to a disaster. The hair that had been pinned up was coming down & some pins had come completely out. No big surprise there. But the major let down was the front. It was still wet. Like I'd just washed it 30 minutes ago. Since it was still wet, the twists were loose and didn't have any kinda shape when I untwisted them; they just did a sad flop down on my forehead. I'm not ashamed to admit that I teared up! I ended up doing two quick flat twists up front (since the wet hair wouldn't lay down right) and doing a ponytail. Hated it, but hey, had to go to work so...

Yeah, that's that. It's still in a ponytail at the moment. I'll flat iron it before this weekend. I'm a little discouraged, but I'm gonna try it again soon. I may have to make a few changes, like doing it as a regular french roll instead of a double. May have to try something different with the front... IDK. Fortunately I've found several tutorial videos on YouTube. They aren't quite doing the look I was going for, but maybe they can help.

Here are a few that I found:

People, I've hit a plateau.

2010-04-05T07:34:00.000-07:00

I'm already in a hair rut. This is a major problem y'all!
Since I've discovered two-strand twists, I have been in a recurring cycle of twist, twist-out, repeat. And it usually looks pretty good so that's not an issue. But being the fickle person that I am, I'm getting tired of the twists! I think I'm a little envious because I've been looking at all these cute natural styles & thinking "I wanna try that!" But my hair is too short for most of them. And then there is the issue of the two textures. The more my natural hair grows out, the more of a difference I can tell in the twists. Truth be told, the permed ends look so scrawny compared to the thick puffs of hair at the roots! My hair was thick when it was relaxed, but it's NOTHING compared to what's coming now!
Of course I could go the route that so many are telling me to try: braids. The thought of them makes me shudder! I really don't like the idea of sitting there forever while someone works on my head. I get bored easily, not to mention the fact that I'm headache prone. But no pain, no gain right? Meh, I'll think of that as a last resort.
I'm considering a sew-in, but I may be too late in the game for it. Since I think I'm gonna BC on my birthday (a little over a month away), I feel like it would be a waste to get a sew-in. After all, they are meant to last like two months or something, right? (I have no idea, so please correct me if I'm wrong!) I may try it after I BC, depending on whether or not I like the look of super short hair. But I'm gonna try to hold out with my hair (and probably the two-strands) until then...

By the way, I need to figure out what to do with my hair after the big chop!! Fro, locs, something that I haven't even considered? Hit up the poll at the top and the comments section & help me out. I'd be soooo appreciative!

Makeup Break!

2010-03-15T13:34:00.000-07:00

We interrupt our usual hair discussion for this brief announcement

Does anyone else hate wearing makeup during the summer? That's one thing I dread once it starts warming up here. I barely wear my usual foundation (MAC Studio Tech -NW47 if you wanna buy me some!) during the spring/summer/early fall because I feel like my face is melting. Even in the winter I don't wear it every day. I love it, but sometimes it just feels a bit heavy. Not to mention that I tend to break out if I use it too many days in a row.

So for the longest I've been stuck in a catch-22 because I don't like just being bare-faced. Unfortunately if a pimple even tries to pop up, I'm scarred with a dark spot. I've wanted to try a mineral powder, but was told by the guy at the MAC counter that it would end up leaving me shiny. Thought about Bare Minerals, but I was never able to find a shade that suited me. So the other day while browsing around the Sephora counter at JCP, one of the ladies directed me to a brand I'd never heard of: Cover FX.

She applied Powder FX (which is actually a foundation, not just a powder like I originally thought) and it went on like buttah. The color was perfect (B35 ova here!), it didn't take much (which meant no caked-up look) and it didn't leave me looking shiny, even on my sometimes oily T-zone. The lady at the makeup counter said that it also works to heal and reduce acne. I'm not so sure about those claims, but it doesn't break me out, which was the main thing I was looking for. Another thing I LOVE about this product is the wide variety of shades. Usually I just have to pick the darkest shade and hope for the best (although many times it's still too light). B35 works perfectly for me, but not for my mom who's a tad darker. Fortunately, using Match FX we figure she's a B45 (going to the counter to verify before she buys it).

Overall, this is a makeup MUST for me. I don't have any kind of rating system (maybe I should work on that?) but if I did, this would definitely get top ranking. Cover FX may have stolen me away from MAC...

But not completely! I am still in love with MAC's eyeshadow. That pricey pro palette will be mine one day!! But what I do have now is a lovely lipcolor. It's one that I purchased a few years ago but haven't been able to find in forever. When I got it, I told the guy that I was looking for something different than what I already had (a bunch of browns and burgundy/purples). When he handed me a Slimshine tube in Lovey-Dove I thought he'd lost his mind. It's such a pretty color--sort of a coral/copper color with a bit of blush or something... IDK--but I thought I'd look ridiculous wearing it. Wrong! It's a great everyday lip color. Goes on kinda sheer, not sticky... It doesn't last as long as I'd like, but it's not bad. And now that I've found out I can order it from Nordstroms (I haven't even been able to get it from MAC's site or counter!), I've fallen in love with it all over again!

So here I am today with my Powder FX & Lovey-Dove lips! Please excuse the lop-sided faux-fro (co-wash tonight!) and the wild eyebrows -_-

And speaking of eyebrows... I've got to find some stencils & brow powder/pencil to do something with these things! I thought I was going to try Eyecandy Eyebrows for a "custom" stencil, but at $110? No thanks. I'll be going to CVS & picking up the lil stencil pack with four shapes to choose from. Out of those, something's gotta be better than this! And for approx. $6 if they don't work, it won't be a major loss.

Now back to our regularly scheduled blogging...

A Hair Horror Story

2010-03-08T12:18:00.000-08:00

OMG I don't know how I forgot to share this with y'all!

As I've mentioned before, I've always been a salon girl. Never really did my own hair because... well, I never had to. But I had an experience back in January to make me change that completely!

From the very start of my transition, my stylist constantly said that she "didn't know what to do" with my hair and that she wasn't gonna be able to deal with it for long. I always laughed it off, my line of thinking being "she started doing hair in the late 60s/70s; she's gotta know about doing natural hair." And I'd been doing fine with the little roller set that I'd been getting. On this particular visit, she said she wouldn't be able to do that style with it anymore. I thought it was odd (since even the newgrowth was manageable and able to be rolled when wet) but said okay and asked what could she do with it. She said she could press it. Cool, I thought. I'd have a little wrap action going.

So I sat in the chair for her to kinda comb through and detangle my hair before washing (it hurt, but I didn't think it was too bad) and asked her to trim it. I specified "trim about an inch off" because last time I said cut (my mistake) and ended up with my hair barely past my ears. Apparently I needed to be more specific. I heard the snip of the shears, looked up, and saw a good two inches of my hair in her hands. She proceeds to just cut randomly (later I realized that it's not even at all), even adding a bang that I did not want or ask for. (That bang is currently the bane of my existence. Yes, it's really that bad!) So although I'm pissed, I know I can't do anything about the cut. We shampoo, we condition. She fires this thing up:

What happened next was nearly unbearable. She begins to tug & pull at my hair, dragging this burning comb through my hair. I was just annoyed with the pulling at first, but when she got to the very back of my hair I wanted to turn around and punch her! There were several spots where she burned my scalp. Thanks to my high pain threshold ~~and the fact that I'm a G~~ I didn't realize how bad it was until a few days later when I was oiling my scalp.

By the time I left the shop, I was in so much pain. My scalp felt like it was on fire, and my head was throbbing so much that I had to take some Excedrin & lie down as soon as I got home. That day I decided I would never go back to her. Since I still have not found a stylist (anyone happen to know a natural stylist in Jackson, MS?) I've been doing it myself. And doing a pretty good darn job of it...

But last Sunday I wanted something different. I was missing the old days of flowy hair. So I washed it, then had my mom blowdry and flat iron it. It came out flawless (and painless)! And here is the kicker: My mom's at-home straightening lasted longer than the professional one I suffered for! SMH True, it only lasted a week (including one touch up of the edges with a straightening comb) but the other was puffing back up the very next day.

Moral of the story: If whoever does your hair is against you going natural (or really, whatever decision you make in regards to your hair) LEAVE them and find someone else! Or do it yourself. Eventually their negative disposition towards what you're doing will either push you away from what you want to do, or manifest itself in hair horror stories like this one.

The Point of It All

2010-03-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

A few nights ago I was asked if all I write about is hair. (Answer: NO. I also blog randomness over on I'm Not A Celebrity... But I Play One on TV, but I've kinda been slacking...) I guess hair probably seems like a rather trivial thing to focus on, obsess over, write about, read about... That is, if it's never been an issue to you. For a guy I guess I can see why it seems so unnecessary. They're hardly ever scrutinized about it, unless we're talking about locs & braids in a corporate environment. But for women, and especially Black women, it's not the same. We are bombarded with ads and messages about what we should look like, so it shouldn't be surprising that we focus on that. True, beauty is only skin deep, it's what's on the inside that counts, yadda yadda yadda. But we all know people still judge books by their cover and we want our covers to say "Fabulous!" (Random sidenote: I actually judge books by their covers. Literally. If the cover doesn't grab my attention, I won't pick it up, unless it's a book I was intending to read anyway. I know that has nothing to do with nothing but I felt like sharing ^_^)

Anyway, here are my main reasons for being obsessed enough with my hair to write, research, take pix, steal pix, etc.

1. This is a matter of self-discovery for me. Since I've become conscious of the fact that I am not & will never be a "classic beauty" I've had to come to terms with my image & my body. My weight, my skin, my height, my facial features, my gait; I've learned (and am learning) to love each and every aspect of myself physically. The one thing that I've always loved was my hair. It's always been long and soft and flowing and beautiful... and permed. So while I've always been able to accept my hair, it wasn't the hair God gave me. And if I'm gonna accept the body He entrusted me with, why not the hair as well?

2. It's a learning experience. I have NEVER done my hair as much as I have in these past couple of months, especially since the beginning of this year. The most I'd done to my own hair prior to transitioning was wrapping, unwrapping, and making ponytails. So this blog is helping me keep track of my progress and what does/doesn't work for me.

3. I want to show others that it's possible to have beautiful, chemical free hair. The general consensus around here is that unless you have "good" hair, you have to have a perm. Like I always say, it's all "good" hair, as long as it's healthy! I also want to let naturals know that it is possible to have healthy relaxed hair. (I know I haven't focused much on that, but I will get to it, trust!)

So that's the point of it all for me. I'd love to get input from other natural hair bloggers/tweeters about why you do what you do!

Two-strand Twists & Twist out

2010-02-15T16:52:00.000-08:00

I'm sooo slack, I know! I was supposed to have this posted on Saturday! But at least this way, I get to do two posts at once, so that makes it okay, right? LOL

I wore my two-strand twists Saturday & Sunday, then did a twist-out for yesterday. Today my twist-out is looking like a faux-fro and I LOOOOOVE it! This little experiment with my hair has me even more anxious to go ahead and cut it!

Anyway, on to the pix...

First pix of the twists. Not quite what I wanted, but decent for a first try!

Fresh twist-out. Wasn't feeling it too much at first...

But today I love it!

A few pix, mid-style

2010-02-12T21:35:00.000-08:00

So I decided to try my hand at two-strand twists tonight. For my first time, I think they're gonna be okay, although I wish I could've done them a little smaller than I did. (To kind of give you an idea of how big they are, I only have 34 of them. Yes, I counted!) I washed my hair using Optimum Oil Therapy Ultimate Recovery shampoo (yeah, I'm still using shampoo, although I know a lot of people don't...), then conditioned (Palmers Deep Conditioning Pure Coconut Milk, let it set about 20 minutes). Detangling went fairly smoothly, and although there was some hair loss, it wasn't enough to make a fuss over. I sectioned the hair off and got to twisting! I used Cantu shea butter to sculpt the twists & then put them on cold rods since I figured the relaxed ends would unravel otherwise. Sooo, here are two pix, front & back, taken before I got under the dryer. I have to have some heat, otherwise my hair would be damp all tomorrow & Sunday morning. So I put it on warm for about 10 minutes, then lowered the setting to cool for about 30. I'm excited to see how they turn out! I plan to keep them in until Tuesday, then do a twist-out Wednesday morning. We'll see how it goes!

Random Thoughts on Hair & Beauty

2010-02-08T19:51:00.000-08:00

I'm ready to BC now... but what will HWHNT pull on?! LOL One thing that is making me less apprehensive about the BC is that I am seeing soooo many beautiful pix of black women after they do it as opposed to not so great pictures. And considering my own awesome beauty (yeah I'm a bit cocky today) I should be fine!

I can't wait for my hair to be all big & billowy, like my own personal cloud of cool.

OMG I'm trying to oil my scalp and I can't even part my hair! Ouch!!
My hair is in dire need of moisture. I gotta find something that will keep it from getting so dry so quickly! Nothing I've tried seems to last, and I just don't have time to oil my hair every day.

Gawd I miss my wrap! I mean, my wrap was something SERIOUS! But I guess you really can't have your cake and eat it too, huh? Can't have a fiya fro and silky tresses on the same head... Dah well....

My cousin Shari BC'd over the weekend and it looks adorable on her! I'm jealous lol

If you are not on Twitter, get on there! I have found so much useful information, as well as style tips & tutorials, blogs, makeup and jewelry by using the trending topic #naturalhair

I wish I'd been better in chemistry and A&P so I'd know what the big deal is with "cones," mineral oil, etc. I keep reading that all of this stuff is bad but it's always been fine by me... I guess I could look it up.... (yeah I know, I'm being lazy)

I finally ordered Thank God I'm Natural today! Sooo excited; I can't wait for it to get here so I can soak in all it's natural, booky goodness (I'm a bit of a bibliophile, don't judge me! lol)

Okay, battery's low & charger is at work. Guess that means it's bedtime!

Just an Observation...

2010-02-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

Today and this past Sunday, from the choir stand, I looked out across our congregation and did a little observing. We have a fairly large church family, and--no surprise-- it is comprised of mostly women. Out of over 100 women, I counted two with natural hair. (Although, does it count as "natural" if one is rocking a jheri curl? hmmm) If there are any naturals, their press game is proper because you never ever see anyone's hair looking natural. Of the little girls (I'll say maybe age 6 and up) the story is the same, although a few have their cute lil natural puffy ponytails. Now I have to admit that the majority of these women have beautiful, healthy hair due to proper care and maintenance so I'm definitely not knocking it.

But the observation did spark a question that I've often wondered before: Is there a distinction between the attitudes towards natural hair depending on what region you are in? I'm in the deep south and don't see many naturals. When I peruse natural hair sites and blogs, the south isn't repped that much. I can't recall any of my friends not having perms when I was growing up (I'm asking around and looking through pix to verify). In fact, a lot of my friends from church got their perms at a very young age just like me, done by either my dad, aunt or cousin! I met my first naturalista in undergrad; it was my ace who was from Chicago. From what I've seen, it seems as if natural hair is not considered "acceptable" down here. Fortunately I am seeing more black women here embracing their natural hair, mostly in the form of locs...

So tell me: Has anyone else noticed that certain regions are more accepting of natural hair? Is it more relegated to certain social circles? Have you always been exposed to natural hair, or did you grow up with relaxed hair being the norm?

Product Review: Tropical Traditions Pure Virgin Coconut Oil

2010-01-29T10:07:00.000-08:00

*Seeing as how this is my first product review, please be patient/understanding with me!*

A couple of weeks ago I received a jar of Tropical Traditions Gold Label Virgin Coconut Oil. When I first opened it, I was a little confused. It was rock solid! LOL The next day, after sitting in my sauna-like house, it had softened up so I began my experimentation with the coconut oil!

Skin
Before I get into the review, let me explain something. Last winter I noticed that my skin had changed. For some reason (not sure if it was due to diet, medication or what) it had become extremely dry. Regardless of how much lotion I slathered on in the mornings, by lunch my legs and arms were not really soft & smooth. I'd read that coconut oil was beneficial for skin as well as hair, so I figured I'd try it. I began using it with the Vaseline intensive care that I usually use, and noticed that it actually lasted! So I started using just the coconut oil and I love it! I can tell a difference in my skin's overall appearance, even fresh out of the shower before I put it on. The biggest difference can be seen on my elbows. They weren't as smooth as I'd like since they're always rubbing against the rather rough arms of my office chair. After only about a week of consistently using the coconut oil they are so soft & smooth! I'm trying to find some way to incorporate the coconut oil in some kinda homemade foot scrub. (#random: I *heart* DIY pedicures, even more than going to get my feet done professionally.) All in all, I am extremely pleased with the results and I'm definitely gonna continue using virgin coconut oil as a part of my daily skin care regimen.

Hair
I am not as pleased with the results of using coconut oil in my hair. I tried using the coconut oil and EVOO as a hot oil treatment and I followed the steps that I found online to the T. I was expecting super soft tresses after that; the results were less than stellar. Fortunately I've never really had a problem with really dry hair, so it's not like this was a major issue. But still, for all that time & effort, I felt like there should have been a noticeable difference. I may try this treatment again and either let it stay on my hair longer, not use a shampoo when I wash it out (or use one that's sulfate-free), or try mixing in other ingredients. I'll update with a part II on how that turns out, should I do so. In the meantime, I am using the coconut oil occasionally just to oil my scalp, especially around the edges. No big TA-DA or anything with that, but at least it gives my hair a nice lil shine when I do it.

Overall, I think I will continue using PVCO, but probably more so for my skin than my hair. Has anyone else used PVCO for their hair and seen positive results? If so, share your secret, por favor!

Interview with a Transitioner

2010-01-20T19:10:00.001-08:00

It's been a long time coming, I know, but my promised interviews have begun! I could think of no better person to start with than my twin-cousin, Shari. She started her journey to naturalista status a few months before I decided to give it another go and has provided support and encouragement for me along the way! She is truly a Pretty Girl, inside and out, as you will see from the pix and the interview!

Name: Shari M. Briggs

Age: 24

Location: Tallahassee, FL

Occupation: graduate student

How long have you been transitioning/natural?

I have been transitioning for over 11 months

BC or no? If yes, was it planned for a certain length/date, or a spur of the moment type deal? If no, what styles do you use while transitioning?

I haven’t BC’d yet, but I will in a couple of weeks on my 25^th birthday! I planned to transition from birthday to birthday and then BC. While transitioning, I have used several styles. In the early stages, I just flat-ironed my natural hair to blend with the relaxed hair. After that got tedious, I started trying out styles that more closely resembled all-natural hair: flat twists, straw sets, twist-outs, etc. Recently, I’ve resorted to sew-ins and braids because the 2 textures are “interesting” to deal with.

After her last touch up.

What made you decide to go natural?

There were a couple factors in my decision. 1) My college friends played a STRONG role in me moving off the fence. Everyone in my circle of friends, with one exception, has natural hair. Seeing them embrace their natural beauty inspired me to embrace mine. 2) Relaxers were ravaging my scalp beyond belief! I had horrible dandruff as well as a spot at the back of my head that would have large chemical burns, no matter what relaxer I used or how long it stayed on. It had gotten to a point where I just expected to have bad burns…

What has been the biggest challenge for you? Have you found anything to make the transition a bit easier?

My biggest challenge has been getting used to the fact that I can’t do the same things with my natural hair that I’ve done in the past with relaxed hair. I was highly upset a couple of months ago when I tried to wrap my hair! BIG mistake! I’ve had to let go of a lot of my tried-and-true hair products and hair styles. Getting to know what my hair likes and dislikes has been an interesting step in this process.

Have friends and family been supportive? Have you faced any criticism for your decision?
My college friends have been the BEST! Each of them has helped me at some point on this journey, whether it was helping me pick out products to try or helping me pick out the right weave! My mother and father have been hilarious! My mom questions me because she remembers how thick my natural hair was as a little girl, but she has straightened my hair when I was home. I’ve nearly convinced her to go natural! My dad just jokes about who I’m going to be the next time he sees me because I change hairstyles so much now. LOL!

Her friend and hair inspiration, who is now one of MY inspirations!

Are there any particular products that you’ve become fond of or that worked well for your hair?

I’m actually still searching for something that will TRULY keep my hair straight in humidity; that has been tough. Other than that, my styles have not required much product other than setting lotion. I will definitely do more experimentation once I BC; then I will have more freedom in my style selection.

Some individuals in the natural hair community see permed hair as a sign of self-hatred or accepting a Euro-centric standard of beauty. What are your views on relaxed hair?
Since I’m edging on the age of 25 and have had a relaxer since I was around 5, I really don’t see it as self-hatred and have no ill will towards relaxers or the women with them. Some people perm their hair because they don’t know how to truly deal with their natural texture; I’ve had to learn this along the way myself and I’m still learning. Also, women that are busy tend towards perms because they are definitely less time-consuming, from what I’ve experience thus far; I’ve considered slapping the creamy crack back in just to save myself some time. Yes, permed hair does give us more European features, but our hair so much more versatile than theirs will ever be! With that, I say, to each her own!

What tips or advice would you give others who are considering going natural?
Make sure you are confident in the journey that you are about to embark on! Some people will love and embrace you; others will think you’re crazy. But in the end, it’s about loving yourself for who you are and not for whom others want you to be. Fight the good fight and resist the creamy crack!! LOL! Also, if you get discouraged, look up natural hair blogs and websites. They have saved me several times! Seeing other women’s hair journey has inspired me and gave me something to look forward to when I BC. I’m so excited! Lastly, surround yourself with supporters. Real friends won’t disown you because you change your hair…

Any additional comments concerning your experience?

I AM NOT MY HAIR!!

About a week ago (wet & dry).

I've Got Coconut Oil!

2010-01-14T18:23:00.001-08:00

Now can someone tell me what to do with it?

Hello, hello! Last week I signed up to receive a free sample of Tropical Traditions Virgin Coconut Oil so that I could do my first product review. I expected some travel-sized bottle to arrive in the mail. Instead, today I got this huge jar! I'm excited because this means I not only get to try it out on my hair, but my skin as well. From what I've been reading, pure coconut oil is beneficial to hair, nails, skin, and aids in weight loss as well. Since it is pure coconut oil, it should be okay to ingest, but I'll definitely double & triple check that before I do. Anyway, just wanted to share! Product review coming soon!

Oh yeah, if you have any recipes or ways you use coconut oil, please share! Y'all know I'm new to this so any and all help is greatly appreciated! Just send it to ToriDBlogs@gmail.com.

The Ten Natural Hair Commandments

2010-01-13T10:04:00.000-08:00

by Laquita Thomas-Banks (Taken from Clutch Magazine)

For those of us who have made, are in the process of making, or contemplating the great Exodus from chemical hair straighteners…

I – Thou shalt be thankful for the hair that adorns thy head. Your hair is your ‘crown of glory’ treat it as such.

II – Thou shalt not idolize the hair that adorns another’s head. The hair on your head is unique, it’s what makes you you.

III – Thou shalt not take the hair that adorns thy head in vain. Be aware of the damage that chemicals and heat can cause, some of the damage is irreversible.

IV – Remember to take the necessary time to pamper thy hair. Create a routine, set aside specific days for sealing your ends, massaging, trimming, washing, conditioning and styling your hair. A healthy head of hair will be your reward.

V – Honor thy mother, father and ancestors for the beautiful traits that they have bestowed upon thee, one of which is your natural crown of glory. Wear your natural hair with pride.

VI – Thou shalt not attempt to use a fine-tooth comb to detangle thy hair. Even before using a wide-tooth comb, use your fingers to detangle, and when detangling always start from the ends and work your way up towards your scalp.

VII – Thou shalt not be ashamed to wear your natural hair in public. Wigs, weaves, braid extensions etc. are all wonderful temporary ‘protective’ and ‘transition’ styles, but they don’t compare to the beauty of your natural hair.

VIII – Thou shalt not kill the hair follicles on thy head – with high heat, harsh chemicals or tight styles. Stay away from pore clogging, dry scalp causing petroleum based products; use natural essential oil based ones instead. Be gentle with your hair, seek out professional stylists who have experience in styling your hair type.

IX – Thou shalt not bad mouth thy neighbor’s hair. Be respectful and encouraging to those who have not yet chosen to wear their hair natural. Negative comments will only turn them away from the natural hair community.

X – Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s hair; thou shalt not covet it’s texture, nor it’s curl pattern, nor it’s length etc. Appreciate the hair that you were blessed with. Try different styles and accessories that accentuate your very own personality and style.

My issues are IV & X. Like I've always stated, I'm not a "hair girl" and have never really had to do much to my hair. I'm slowly growing out of this and starting to do more for my own hair as I learn more about it. And yes, I'm guilty of coveting other naturals! I've seen soooo many gorgeous pictures out there, and I'm constantly saying "I hope my hair does that" or "I wish my hair looked like that." I'm gonna try to do better, I am!

And if you've read this blog for any amount of time you know why IX is in red. no explanation needed for that one; it is what it is!

BC Coming Soon!

2010-01-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

Possibly....

I think.

I have three dates in mind that I'm looking at, but I have a length goal in mind too, so it may depend on whichever happens first. Since I'll be hitting 25 this year & that's a number of major importance to me, I was thinking of doing it on my birthday (May 15 in case you wanna start shopping for a present LOL). Then there is the cruise that I'll be going on in June. I really don't want to be dealing with hair considering the ~~drunken debauchery~~ fun I plan on getting into. Or I could put it off until July when I hit the one-year mark...

But then there's the length issue. Right now I'm looking at about two inches of newgrowth, with my hair at about 7" long. I'd really like to have 5" left once I cut the perm-- simply cuz I really think my face is too fat for anything shorter & I want to be able to play around with it some. I'm not sure if I'll be able to reach that goal by any of the dates I mentioned.

At any rate, I'll be doing the BC this year. I'm excited... and very very nervous! I'll try not to chicken out!

For those of you who transitioned from relaxed to natural hair, how long did you go before the BC? Or did you BC at all? For those that are still transitioning, do you have a set time or length in mind?

A Tale of Two Textures

2010-01-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

Twenty-four weeks. Twenty-four long, withdrawal filled weeks! Yes, it has been 24 weeks since my last hit of the creamy crack. I have amazed everyone--my stylist, parents, friends, coworkers-- by sticking with it this long. I have done much better than I did a few years ago when I attempted to transition. I credit having more support (thanks to a host of beautiful ladies online who are either already natural or transitioning like me), more education on the subject (internet came through on that too) and change in my personality as far as determination, self-expression and individuality.

Now I'm at that weird point where it's very obvious that I have two different textures going on. I did not get this far last time, so it's all new territory from here. I've been trying to hide the fact that all of my hair does not look the same. But since it's kinda hard to do that without heat, I'm limiting that. So now I have about two inches of thick, poofy waves and about five of straight hair. Honestly, at first I hated it. I looked at my hair and saw a struggle. It's a really weird feeling: I'm not ashamed of the natural hair, and I knew it would be different from the relaxed portion. I knew it would look like this once the transition was complete and I was okay with that. But seeing it with the relaxed hair... It was like bacon and ice cream. I LOVE both of em & I could eat both every day, but I ain't trying to sprinkle bacon bits on my sundae! (Sorry, I'm a little hungry.) My point is, I love both, but I didn't like the idea of them together. So what I've started doing is forcing myself to wear styles that basically show off both textures. I figure if I go ahead and put it on full display I'll be more comfortable when I do finally do the big chop. Will it work? Who knows, I'm not a psychologist. I'm just trying to find something--anything--to make the transition a little less shocking for myself...

Happy New Years!

2010-01-01T14:43:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all of my followers (and anyone who happens to stumble across this blog). May 2010 be a year of health, happiness and continued blessings for you & yours!

The Current Look

2009-12-20T17:42:00.000-08:00

So I did the curls....

My hair didn't quite turn out like I wanted, but I was able to do something like a rocker-esque look with it and it came out pretty cute. Better than I expected. See for yourself...

Freshly done

A little sweated out

Last night

What do you think? I may keep this style for a while, considering I really don't have to do anything to my hair. I'm sure this probably isn't considered a "protective style" but for now I think it'll do.

Oh yeah, a few growth pix as well (from about two weeks ago):

I'm going to try something different...

2009-12-11T07:40:00.000-08:00

Next Saturday I'm going to this big Christmas extravaganza that one of my organizations puts on every year. It's a rare time when I get all jazzy and whatnot, and this year is no exception. I'm gonna abandon my signature straight hair and go for something a ~~little~~ lot more curly. Everyone who knows me knows that in the past I have despised curls... but I think its just because they never come out how I expect them to. Hopefully that will not be the case this time. (Oh, this could be the Christmas miracle to transform me from the Grinch to... ummmm, whatever the opposite of the Grinch is... Santa?)

Aaaaanyway, here is the look I'll be going for. This is absolutely gorgeous on her! If I can get something similar to happen, I'll post a pic... If not, we'll act like this whole post never happened...

The Return of the Girly-Girl

2009-12-04T19:23:00.000-08:00

*We interrupt our regularly scheduled hair blog for this important announcement*

It is time for my girly side to make her re-entry into the world. The Tori D. who always had the perfect outfit, wore a signature shade of lipstick and was rarely caught in flats doesn't come out that much. She peeks her head out every now and then, but she's become a bit of a recluse over the last year or so. A couple of things are to blame for this. There is the fact that I get up ridiculously early for work, so I sleep until the very last minute & then rush out of the door. There is also the issue of there not being ANY attractive, available men at work or in class. Plus, the extra pounds that make dressing well a lot more expensive were a bit of a blow to her ego too. Although I'm far from a slob (never that, even on my worst days!), I have kinda forced my prissy side into hiding.

But I think I can coax her out... With this...
I caught myself drooling over this eyeshadow palette and knew that my inner girly-girl was crying "Give us free!" I've never even been much of a makeup person (other than a little foundation every now and then and a lil lipstick) but this makes me wanna change my ways. So I've decided to step my game up as far as my appearance. Heck, I'm changing up and trying new things in just about every other aspect of my life; why not this?
All that to say, as I go through my transition with my hair, you'll also see me transitioning back into the priss I used to be (that is, if I can pull it off correctly!)

Hair Issues: Can I be pretty with natural hair?

2009-11-30T17:36:00.000-08:00

This blog was prompted by looking at pictures of my long permed hair, then looking at my hair—especially the roots—in its current state. I gotta be honest y’all: I don’t feel pretty.

I’ve always known that I was not “pretty” in the conventional sense. I will never be thin and light-skinned, and I've always been okay with that. But I always had the long thick hair. That was my one "redeeming quality" as far as looks. (Well, that and my tits, but that's neither here nor there at the moment!) The first thing people complimented me on was my hair; I was always known as the “girl with the pretty hair.” When I was debating whether to cut it, I was even told, “guys aren’t gonna like you with short hair.” I know, I shoulda just shanked her. LOL But I went ahead and cut it, partially to prove her wrong. Maybe I was too optimistic, thought people weren’t really that shallow. But now I think that maybe I was wro- wroooo- My fingers refuse to type that. Maybe she was right. I’ve noticed the difference in how much I’m approached (actually, I haven’t been approached at all since cutting my hair…) And that kinda has me weirded out about whether I should actually go natural. Yeah yeah, I know the way I see myself shouldn’t be affected by how much I’m approached, but right now it kinda is. (I’m in a vulnerable state, don’t judge me. LOL)

So I’m looking at my hair right now and it’s horrible. The permed part refuses to do anything. Wrapping doesn’t work. Rolling doesn’t work. Flat ironing doesn’t last. The newgrowth is just puffy and dull, even though I’ve been moisturizing and conditioning it like crazy. And the little voice in my head is saying "Just perm it. At least you'll be able to sling your hair like you used to. Remember how it used to moooove? Remember how it used to shiiiiine? We can have that again!"

I’m frustrated. And scared. I know it’s “just hair” but as far as looks, that’s what I’ve been known for! If the one thing that was always perfect is turning on me…. Well, then what?

I'm Back!

2009-11-22T20:20:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while since I've posted here, but I am slowly making my return! As I stated before, I will be posting some interviews with some stylists, as well as some friends in regards to their hair care regime (permed and natural), attitudes concerning black hair, their transition, etc. That will be coming very soon and I am excited about it!

In the meantime, here's what's been up with me:

I've found my style inspiration. I would love it if my hair turned out like this, but I have a feeling it won't... Fortunately I was told that I could get a sew-in to get this look! (In my ignorance of weaves and whatnot, I did not know they made weave that wasn't straight *shrug*)

I have been thinking about doing the big chop, but I dunno if I'm gonna go through with it. I don't think I'm quite that brave just yet... But if/when I do, I will more than likely get baby curl twists. I don't see myself rocking the TWA. Not that confident!

Speaking of my hair, guess I'll share some pix. It's been just a little over four months. I can see some growth!

If you look closely at the last pic, you can see the little curls starting to form! Here is my second attempt at flat ironing my hair. The first one resulted in stick-straight pieces of hair that had to be deep conditioned :-/

I saw this video and thought it was soooo cool! I wouldn't mind this if I did the BC, but I wouldn't want locs permanently so I dunno if this would actually be for me. But just watch!

I found a product that I absolutely LOVE! i dunno how to do a product review (LOL) but I'll try. The product is Optimum 3-in-1 creme oil moisturizer. It has coconut, olive, avocado and jojoba oil. I massage it into my scalp and on my newgrowth to provide moisture. It wasn't too heavy for my hair, which was a concern since it is a cream and appeared to be rather rich/heavy in my hand. I was surprised to find that it also made detangling my hair a lot easier! A win all the way around for me.

Okay, so that's all the catching up I have in me! I still want suggestions for new posts, questions to ask in my interviews, etc! You can leave them in the comments or email me at ToriDBlogs@gmail.com

Later folks!

2009-10-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I'm still writing (and yes, still transitioning).

There's just a lot going on right now and I thought it would be best to take a break from the blogs, social sites, etc. for a while.

I'd still love any tips, comments, suggestions, WHATEVER. Because when I come back -and I do plan on coming back- I'm coming back strong!

Temptation

2009-10-08T18:32:00.000-07:00

The creamy crack is calling me y'all!

It's only been 11 weeks since my last touch up. I thought I could at least make it to the four or five month mark before I started feeling like going back. There are two main things that are making me reconsider going natural. One is that the more I read the more I realize how much work and effort goes into the maintenance of natural hair. Call me ignorant, but I really did think that going natural would be easier. Then when I first started looking into it I was like "Okay, maybe a lil more to it than I thought, but I think I can handle it." Now I'm thinking "Maaaaaaan, I dunno!" With the perm I just wrap or roll my hair at night (or put it in a ponytail if I'm being lazy), take it down in the morning and go. 90% of the time it was flawless... The other 10% it stayed in a ponytail. My effort? On a scale of 1 to 10, I was maybe putting in 2.5. From what I'm reading and hearing from others, I'm definitely gonna have to change all of that. Time, energy, focus... I love my hair but I've never been one to spend forever doing it. So it's getting a little side-eye from me. The other thing is the growth. My hair was on a growing spree when I was getting a touch-up every 6-8 weeks. Now maybe it's all in my head, but I feel like my hair has just stopped. I'm sitting here like "Will I ever feel hair on my shoulders again?!" lol

On the other hand, I do have my reasons for sticking it out. One is that I want to prove my father and my ex wrong: my reasons for wanting to go natural had NOTHING to do with him. So if I go back to perming now that the relationship is over, it makes it look like they were right even though they were both dead wrong. I can't have that. Also, I love the versatility that comes with natural hair. If I just wanted to straighten my hair, I could still do that, but I could also rock a fro (which I've wanted since high school) or do an amazing twist-out like some of the pictures I've seen, or whatever! Options. I love that.

So for now I am holding out. Or trying to.

Three Things

2009-10-03T19:16:00.000-07:00

1. Soooo Good Hair is not out in theaters here yet. Apparently it was opening in select locations first or something? IDK. What I do know is that my fav theater has it slated to open October 9. So THEN I'll come back with my opinions and whatnot!

2. What are your sources? I am no hair expert. In fact, I've probably stated several times that I don't know much of anything when it comes to hair. However, I am learning, and I'm willing to share what I learn with you! I have added some blogs of note as well as hair and makeup links that you may find useful. I also plan on adding a "Tip of the Month" (or something similar) with tidbits that I get from the people that I'm learning from: several of my sorors, family members and e-friends. I'm also getting info from other boards that may not be hair related (I'm looking at you greek9.com and brownandbridal.com!) but that have a LOT of useful info. If you have some other links that may be useful, email me or leave a link in a comment. We'd all appreciate the knowledge!

3. I plan to start interviewing stylists and spotlighting black women with healthy hair that may shed some light on how they get the results they do. Permed, natural, transitioning, "texlaxed," we're gonna do it all! Like I said "It's all good hair" as long as it's healthy and you're happy with it. That being said, if you want to be featured, know someone that wouldn't mind sharing their tips and pix, or have some questions that you would like answered, let me know! (Also, let me know if y'all want to address makeup as well. I'm trying to improve on that, but y'all may already have that down!)

Your tips, links, submissions, etc. can be sent to voluptuousvixen007@yahoo.com.

Has My Hair Stopped Growing?!

2009-09-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

Seriously, it looks like it's not budging an inch. I know, I know, I just got this cut about four weeks ago... but I'm ready for it to start growing! So far it looks like I've got the same little bit of new growth that I had when I first posted a pic of my hair. I'm tempted to start experimenting with some of those products that claim to make your hair grow, but I'm a little apprehensive since I am admittedly not a "hair person" (i.e., I dunno what I'm doing). Plus my aunt/hairdresser says that they don't work anyway.

What say you? Have you used any of these creams, shampoos, oils, etc. that claim to promote hair growth? Did they work? Help a sista out. I'm still not quite used to having short hair!!